wheelswings
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Here is what I said last night … more or less.
We had lots of fun creating our prizes. Whether anyone will enjoy receiving them is a separate question.
I’m giving six prizes with 35 recipients.
Note: all of my prizes come with certificates.Crunch Prize
Last year I ran over a Squirrel. It scampered off afterward, and I’m really not sure of its long-term medical prognosis. In honor of that squirrel, I am awarding this year’s Crunch Prize to Sarah Bee for running over a Rat (it died). And to Judd for his close encounter with a pack of suicidal bunnies (they survived).
The prize is Crunch Bars and stuffed animals — I looked for a stuffed rat at CVS, but it appears that bunnies are more popular at this time of year.Crescent Prize
Someone told me my Crescent prize is self-serving. And my response? You’re damn right it is. I am the primary beneficiary of this prize. ‘Cause it makes my day when I see friends on my route. And since my job moved north, in February, I’ve had a whole new part of my route on which I don’t see ANY familiar faces.
My Crescent Prize is for those who regularly ride up and down the Capital Crescent Trail between Key and Chain Bridges. This is my way of saying “hi!”… I baked you some healthy Czech crescent cookies.
(Those who rode at least 20 round trips on this route this winter.)
Dana Wise 37 round trips
Ian Fingerman 35
Seth Pollack 34
Ricky Albores 30
Allan C. 26
Caleb James 24
Billy Hunke 24
Richard Houston 21
(Ingredients: almond meal, flour, canola-olive oil blend, organic egg…baked and then rolled in powdered sugar.)The Just-in-Case Prize
Given my reputation, some of you may be thinking the Just-in-case Prize has something to do with the Morning After Pill. But that’s simply not the case. As promised, I have cleansed my mind of filth…unless you count “explosive diarrhea” as “filth.“
Indeed, some of you may recall waking up one morning –just before Valentines – and reading the ride title,
“Flat tire, Explosive Diarrhea, Flipped Chain, Broken Zipper, Awesome Ride.”
It’s the sort of thing you have to read twice….
This prize goes to my good friend and 2015 BiPolar Bear Teammate vern.
Glad you survived this wretched confluence of events. I bestow upon you the BRAT diet…bananas, rice, applesauce and toast, and Just in case it should happen again, here is an emergency canister of Valentines’ TP from Sweden. Just pop the top and you’re good.London Bridge prize…
I was touched by the painful – and, sometimes – painfully funny stories that people shared about crashes.
Winners are those who went down 3 or more times:
Prize:
–We sewed little pillow necklaces, which can be used to protect ribs or other injured parts.
–first aid kits
–LifeSavers
consularrider: 6… is the big winner with 6 falls on the icy/snowy/slushy trails of the Ukraine.
Subby: 4
kitty: 4…whose falls happened on Ice Night, Wedn Jan 20, when the roads were unbelievably slick
SteveO: 3…who wrote, “Kitty – please go back and read my tips for riding on ice. You shouldn’t be falling this much if you are using the proper techniques.”
It’s an honor to include Steve O among the London Bridge recipients…
Boomer2U: 3…who writes about his London Bridge experience as lead marshall for the Vasa ride, while wearing his WABA safety vest…his descriptions are nothing less than mortifying.
DCV: 3
Dickie: 3…who went down in a ditch where he experienced an ice-cold bath on his ride home. He had to strip on the trail…we are still waiting to see the video.
Jon Robot: 3…
Lynn Salvo: 3…Desperate escape (from housework)…
It often feels like the amount of time we spend riding is inversely proportional to the amount of time we devote to cleaning, housework, childcare, home repair, taxes, you name it. We give kudos for doing what we love… riding our bikes… when really we could all use kudos for tackling the clutter and mopping the floor. Sometimes our rides are nothing more than a Desperate Escape from Housework. So I’d like to honor the three who have spent the most time in the saddle this winter…… I’m sending you home with a duster, a pack of Tide, and a candy necklace to help take your mind off the unpleasant task before you.
-Rod Smith
-Chris Shue
-Dave PomeroyDrug prize
I’ve often commented on the mental/spiritual benefits of riding. If I didn’t have sports, you may as well lock me up in a psychiatric hospital. If the good feeling of bicycle riding could be captured in a bottle, it would be worth billions.
Yet, there are those sickening days where life intervenes and …for whatever reason… no bike ride is possible. I have put together some emergency rations of pharmaceuticals to try and help people through those days…you may have heard of Hormone Replacement Therapy — treatment with estrogens to alleviate certain conditions. So this is Bike Replacement Therapy… to try and mimic some of the mental benefits of Bicycle riding.
If you miss a ride, the prescription calls for taking one of each:
Valium for anxiety and panic disorder.
Viagra to keep your marriage alive (even if you don’t have one… we are Family Friendly…)
Prozac for depression.
Zoloft for all of the above plus OCD, PTSD, and PMDD.
I’d like to call on all those people who missed either one or two riding days.
Brad F.
The E
Komorebi
Boomer
Steve T
Jan F
Pete B
Steve O
HF W
Henry D
Brian K
Honorary winner: Karen W — for riding every day despite a multi-hour car commute
to her new job.
Karen has kept up a streak of 450 days, which is awesome, but rumor has it a work trip will keep her from riding next week — there will be no access to a bicycle… Undoubtedly she will need these Bike Replacement Therapy drugs!@DrP 137658 wrote:
I plan to attend, and give it an 80% chance that I will actually make the happy hour (the week is still young – by boss can still schedule a 5pm 2hr long meeting).
Um. Just keep in mind that there is noro-virus “going ’round” and it can strike quite suddenly. It is highly contagious. Be ready to catch it on Thursday afternoon, as needed.
Priorities…
Hi Final-Happy-Hour-and-Pointless-Prize-Organizers. Huge thanks for setting things up.
We’ve been busy creating absurd prizes, and I can’t wait to give them out. I must admit, though, I’m a little nervous about the timing… I have six prizes to distribute – some to multiple winners – making for 30-something recipients. I hear that there are over 200 awardees total. If we have a 30-minute prize ceremony, there will be roughly 10 seconds to give out each prize. Yikes! I’m willing to talk fast, but I’m worried about the awkward shape of our venue… it may be tricky for winners to come forward quickly for their prizes.
I’m really bad at logistics, but I’m wondering if it would help to:
–have an m.c. to help keep us on track?
–bring poster boards with the names of awardees, so that people could come forward as we are speaking?
–have a prize table up front where folks could claim their prizes afterwards (good to affix the names)?
–have ceremonial elves whose job is to help distribute the prizes when names are called?
Other ideas?
Perhaps this is all worked out already. If so, that is awesome ‘cause it’s not my forte. Or perhaps we’ll just wing it…that is okay too.
I just want to make sure there will be enough time to give out my stash of prizes.
Thanks,
w&w@sjclaeys 137288 wrote:
I guess if one loses their ride record, they could still do a sleaze ride to at least get credit for riding that day.
The unfortunate truth is that it’s on those coldest days in the worst conditions that our electronics are most likely to malfunction. On the most extreme days, doing the sleaze can be quite a feat…
@rcannon100 137235 wrote:
Not true. Sounds completely rigged to me. I mean, you might as well have a prize for most rides in Kiev ~ or most rides by a parent of a VCU student! It’s a communist conspiracy I tell you.
Ooh, that’s a great idea. A prize for the most rides in Kiev. Or for the guy who posts the cutest pictures of puppies. Or for the weirdo who won’t let any butts touch her saddle.
It’s not Commie. It’s a democracy of the bicycle-riding people, and we can make up our own stupid rules!! w&w@MaryEllsworth 137142 wrote:
An informal tally shows the following teams had members rolling around HP tonight:
1, 3, 4, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 & 20 Is there anyone we missed?A little snow was observed in headlamps. A shy moon peeked through cloud cover a couple times. Temps did not disappoint on this final eve of BAFS2016.
Thanks Bike Arlington for a great game! Elsewhere I saw someone observing the significant increase in winter biking around DC, and crediting BAFS!
Team 12 was there too. (I was the one with the rainbow fingers who pulled up just before midnight.
)
Thanks for a wonderful time!! w&w@Vicegrip 137036 wrote:
If I recall that is where your 2015 prize was intended to go
Sigh. Indeed. But no need to spoil the innocence of youth. I used to have it too….grew up wanting to be a nun. Even my high school career-interest test pegged me as a pastor (actually it gave me three choices: pastor, science teacher, or physical therapist).
In any case, that is all history. PG-13 it is! Looking forward.@Vicegrip 136924 wrote:
Are kids (12 year old) OK at this bar?
My prize presentations will not go beyond PG-13 this year. Most will be completely innocent. Anything more than that will be in your own heads, only.
Ouch, sorry to hear about your hip, Emm. Try lots of docs until you find one who can fix you.
As I’ve written previously, when I hurt my ankle in my twenties (and could barely walk for 16 months) I was told I was too old for such rigorous sports. It took eight doctors before I found one with the patience and the brain-power to figure out what was wrong. She fixed me in a week.In the meantime, have you tried standing on your pedals? Maybe it would help….
Good wishes! w&w
