Forum Dictionary

[baiskeli]

It’s getting hard to keep track of our terminology and inside jokes here. Today I see “Helpy Helperton” added, and last week we got the “ELITE” cyclist.

Can we start a dictionary?

I’ll start with one of my favorites I learned here:

Crazy Ivan (noun) – the act by a jogger of suddenly turning around without looking to see if the path is clear

[TwoWheelsDC]

“TimKelley” (tim-KELLee) v. The act of claiming “King of the Mountain” status on a large number of an area’s Strava segments. Example: “A pro cyclist is visiting the area this week…he’s totally going to TimKelley all the hills.”

[vvill]

Uh, what were we talking about?
Universally accepted catch-all to end any post in any thread, or any conversation at any time, anywhere, no matter how off-topic or frivolous.

[pfunkallstar]

Cat 6 (n): An unofficial, non-sanctioned, underwhelming bike race instigated and sustained by childhood loss, common perniciousness, or bike lust.

Catastrophuck (n): See 1988 comedic-drama “Beaches,” starring a slightly younger Bette Midler.

Cork-Screw-of-Death (n): The godforsaken, Slip n’ Slide-esque, section of the Custis trail behind Lyon Village.

ELITE (N to the proper): An obtuse ninja, existing in an alternate time-space dimension, indifferent to the peons who dare tread on the same ground.

Shoaler (n): A biker or pedestrian engaged in the act of shoaling, wherein a mass of MUT users form a shoal at a stop light or stop sign, making for a catastrophuck.

[rcannon100]

Arlington Collards (klrd) n. An Arlington delicacy, conjured by confused Northerns forced to live in the South. Consists of finely ground bollard sleeves, yellow in color, cooked in bacon grease.

Ninja [nin-juh] n. a jogger skilled in stupidjutsu, a Japanese martial art characterized by stealthy movement, camouflage, and shorten lifespans; commonly found wearing dark clothing, devoid of lights or reflectors, moving slyly along area multi-use paths. See also Crazy Ivan.

LBS [el-bee-es] Slang Acronym for “Larry Bullis Sucks,” the acronym of the Bullis Preparatory Student body in the early 1980s, before the school went co-ed and launched a major effort to improve the quality of the school. “LBS” could be seen painted and graffiti’d all over the school grounds. It cannot be confirmed whether Henry Rollins, who attended Bullis at that time, coined the acronym.

[baiskeli]

@pfunkallstar 27953 wrote:

Cat 6 (n): An unofficial, non-sanctioned, underwhelming bike race instigated and sustained by childhood loss, common perniciousness, or bike lust.

Catastrophuck (n): See 1988 comedic-drama “Beaches,” starring a slightly younger Bette Midler.

Cork-Screw-of-Death (n): The godforsaken, Slip n’ Slide-esque, section of the Custis trail behind Lyon Village.

ELITE (N to the proper): An obtuse ninja, existing in an alternate time-space dimension, indifferent to the peons who dare tread on the same ground.

Shoaler (n): A biker or pedestrian engaged in the act of shoaling, wherein a mass of MUT users form a shoal at a stop light or stop sign, making for a catastrophuck.

Challenge: use all of these in once sentence.

Challenge accepted!

“A bunch of ELITEs were doing a Cat 6 and ran into some shoalers on the Cork-Screw-of-Death, resulting in a catastrophuck.”

[baiskeli]

@rcannon100 27969 wrote:

Arlington Collards (klrd) n. An Arlington delicacy, conjured by confused Northerns forced to live in the South. Consists of finely ground bollard sleeves, yellow in color, cooked in bacon grease.

Ninja [nin-juh] n. a jogger skilled in stupidjutsu, a Japanese martial art characterized by stealthy movement, camouflage, and shorten lifespans; commonly found wearing dark clothing, devoid of lights or reflectors, moving slyly along area multi-use paths. See also Crazy Ivan.

LBS [el-bee-es] Slang Acronym for “Larry Bullis Sucks,” the acronym of the Bullis Preparatory Student body in the early 1980s, before the school went co-ed and launched a major effort to improve the quality of the school. “LBS” could be seen painted and graffiti’d all over the school grounds. It cannot be confirmed whether Henry Rollins, who attended Bullis at that time, coined the acronym.

Challenge: use all of these in a sentence.

Challenge declined.

[Mikey]

Pathelete (n): An ELITE poseur, who rides slow, shoals at lights, and generally blocks access to the path, except during specific, imaginary start and finish lines (known only to the Pathelete) where his or her (always his) primary goal is to display his or her (again always his) supremacy in breaking away. See Leap-Frogger.

[krazygl00]

Salmon (n): Someone who insists on going against the direction traffic, be it in a bike lane or in the street. This is sometimes a cyclist who thinks all bike lanes are bi-directional despite the fact that the bike lane follows the direction of motor traffic adjacent to it. A Cyclist-Salmon views all bike lanes as fully-fledged MUPs plunked down in the middle of the street. There are also runner/jogger varieties of Salmon, as it has become more common recently for runners to believe that the proper place for them is to run in the street, against the flow of traffic; this is of course a complete misconception fed by some kind of delusion because this area of the street is coincidentally the exact place where cyclists are legally supposed to ride. So strong is this delusional belief that Runner-Salmon often expect that cyclists will veer out into traffic at their own peril so that the Salmon may continue without changing course (See “Insistent Salmon“). Salmoning (n): the act of behaving as a Salmon. “I was riding down 15th street and this pack of runners were totally salmoning and I had to ride out into traffic to avoid them! Source: BikeSnobNYC

Inspired by This thread.

[baiskeli]

retrogrouchy (adj) – speaking in a manner that indicates dissatisfaction with change, such as how the mechanics of a bicycle used to be simpler or more reliable or easier to maintain. Also see “old man ranting on front porch.”

(I speak as a ranting old man myself. Stupid kids today don’t know how to say “on your left!”)

[Justin Antos]

We need a term for riders who blare 5 bajillion-lumen headlights on strobe while on the trail, and don’t shield it from oncoming cyclists. Any ideas?

[KelOnWheels]

@Justin Antos 41531 wrote:

We need a term for riders who blare 5 bajillion-lumen headlights on strobe while on the trail, and don’t shield it from oncoming cyclists. Any ideas?

Ophthalmologists.

[rcannon100]

lumeNuts

phengophobics

photomaniacs

or of course just good old “jerks”

[Steve]

@Justin Antos 41531 wrote:

We need a term for riders who blare 5 bajillion-lumen headlights on strobe while on the trail, and don’t shield it from oncoming cyclists. Any ideas?

Disco Stu

[KelOnWheels]

@Steve 41535 wrote:

Disco Stu

^^ Winnar.

[Author]

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