Haines Point lunchtime riders etiquette

[hozn]

@Mantadiver 96158 wrote:

Comical PC. Now you are making stuff up. I sent the same message I posted to you publicly here. Like I said. You are a bit sensitive. And dasgeh, you have some gender issues. You have made every post about gender. It’s not about gender but a rude rider who didn’t apologize.

Whatever good will and sympathy you may have originally engendered for your story here has quickly eroded by your vindictive behavior in the video, your multiple sexist posts on the forum, and your general antagonistic response to people that have provided some suggestions of perspective here. What on earth did you actually hope to achieve by posting your video? Do you really think for a second that anyone on this forum would have ridden by you without apologizing had they clipped your bars?!? If you are trying to send a “don’t do this message” to the group racers, this was the wrong place to do it. If you wanted some sympathy for the way another cyclist treated you, it might have served you better to be less antagonistic (on the video and in the forum). Or if you just wanted attention, I guess you could say this has been a success.

[Mantadiver]

Do you really think for a second that anyone on this forum would have ridden by you without apologizing had they clipped your bars?!?

Uh, someone did just that obviously.

your multiple sexist posts on the forum

Where?

Does it male you feel good to continue to pile on? There has been enough said about the video. Some agree with me, some with you. Many of us have different personalities and were brought up in different areas and eras. I grew up in North Jersey in the 60’s and 70’s. If you want to use that as fuel to continue to pile on, go ahead. But it will also show that I probably have a different set of values and will deal with situations differently than some, but the same as some. It seems that most “roadies” think I did bad. And it seems most recreational riders feel the same way I do. We are tired of no call and too close passes.

I am done with this thread. Too many of you are putting words in my mouth and accusing me of doing unspeakable things. But the bottom line is that the group made two very unsafe passes. You can scream at me all you want for what I said to her, that she apologize, heaven forbid. But the group almost injured someone. I did not.

If you pass me and hit me, expect me to get in your space if you act like I was in your way. I have just as much of a right to do laps at Haines Point as you. It is a public park.

I am disabling the video due to riders who want to make it about me. Go ahead and judge me some more and call me a bad person. But don’t forget to look in the mirror. I think people saw their own riding behavior in that video and want to make it all about me instead of the what the video showed. Very dangerous behavior.

[mstone]

You don’t seem to understand that many of the people who are saying that you also behaved badly are non-roadies with a long history of safe cycling advocacy. Saying that you responded badly has nothing to do with excusing the bad behavior of the group.

[baiskeli]

Look, we need to stop this. There was no evidence that he was sexist, and protesting against falsely being called sexist is not sexist. He is someone who feels he was wronged, and then was ignored, and now he feels he is being attacked for complaining, and there’s nothing more frustrating than that. Let’s all just take it down a notch.

[hozn]

@baiskeli 96182 wrote:

Look, we need to stop this. There was no evidence that he was sexist, and protesting against falsely being called sexist is not sexist. He is someone who feels he was wronged, and then was ignored, and now he feels he is being attacked for complaining, and there’s nothing more frustrating than that.

I never suggested that his pursuit of his offender was sexist. I said his comments were. I am talking about comments like this:

@Mantadiver 96135 wrote:

Grow up and grow some nads Mr Sensitive. And don’t cry when I call you out when you hit me. Just apologize.

Yeah, honestly it’s a little hard to get all choked up when someone starts using language like that to perfect strangers. Not to mention the language/behavior on video.

No one here disagrees that what happened was wrong, but what a d-bag way to handle it. If these were my children, they would both be in timeout.

[baiskeli]

@hozn 96184 wrote:

I never suggested that his pursuit of his offender was sexist. I said his comments were. I am talking about comments like this:

Okay.

Yeah, honestly it’s a little hard to get all choked up when someone starts using language like that to perfect strangers. Not to mention the language/behavior on video.

He feels that perfect strangers have attacked him, which is true. I don’t blame him for being defensive and angry about how some people have treated him.

No one here disagrees that what happened was wrong, but what a d-bag way to handle it. If these were my children, they would both be in timeout.

Maybe, maybe not, but this forum has done the same thing to him. We shouldn’t have handled his thread this way.

Let’s back up and say that:

– cyclists shouldn’t dangerously crowd out strangers and ride so close as to bump them
– if you bump a stranger who isn’t in your group, you should acknowledge your mistake to them and not ride off as if you don’t care one bit
– if you bumped in this way, your reaction should be appropriate and moderate
– if someone posts a video about it and asks for opinions from a forum, one shouldn’t belittle him for thinking that getting bumped by a stranger is no big deal and he’s a hothead for even caring about it (independent of the level of his reaction), or call him sexist or misogynist (not referring to you complaint about his language) without a shred of evidence

Let’s just all take a deep breath, exhale, and relax.

[hozn]

Fair enough. I am sure more tolerance and understanding could benefit a number of us here. I don’t think anyone here wants to condone the behavior that inspired the original post, though, and I hope that message hasn’t been lost in subsequent discussion of the reaction to said behavior.

Happy weekend!

[gtmandsager]

@baiskeli 96185 wrote:

– if someone posts a video about it and asks for opinions from a forum, one shouldn’t belittle him for thinking that getting bumped by a stranger is no big deal and he’s a hothead for even caring about it (independent of the level of his reaction), or call him sexist or misogynist (not referring to you complaint about his language) without a shred of evidence

Since this last bullet seems written for me, I’ll just say I agree with you, though I imagine we’d disagree over how much (or little) your hypothetical applies to this thread. I’d be happy to talk more about it over a beer. I’ll buy.

[DismalScientist]

Well, if there’s free beer involved with disagreement, you are all full of s—.:rolleyes:

[baiskeli]

@gtmandsager 96188 wrote:

I’d be happy to talk more about it over a beer. I’ll buy.

For someone I don’t think I’ve met, you seem to know me well. Glad to have a beer or two or 12 with you some time.

[baiskeli]

@DismalScientist 96191 wrote:

Well, if there’s free beer involved with disagreement, you are all full of s—.:rolleyes:

I see quite a hangover in my future.

[dasgeh]

@baiskeli 96247 wrote:

For someone I don’t think I’ve met, you seem to know me well. Glad to have a beer or two or 12 with you some time.

Not only have you met him, he’s been to your house.

[dasgeh]

@baiskeli 96185 wrote:

Maybe, maybe not, but this forum has done the same thing to him. We shouldn’t have handled his thread this way.

A number of us, myself included, have said that his actions crossed a line. He responded with a personally, sexually-based attack on probably the most thoughtful member of this forum. His post implied that the opinion and reasoning of someone who is sensitive and does not have testicles does not matter. Those are not the same, and to equate the two, as you do here, does a disservice to tolerant, reasonable dialog. I, for one, am shocked that you continue to defend MantaDiver in light of the “nads” post.

[baiskeli]

@dasgeh 96251 wrote:

Not only have you met him, he’s been to your house.

Dang it, I can’t keep track of all these screen names, let alone real names.

[baiskeli]

@dasgeh 96252 wrote:

He responded with a personally, sexually-based attack on probably the most thoughtful member of this forum. His post implied that the opinion and reasoning of someone who is sensitive and does not have testicles does not matter. Those are not the same, and to equate the two, as you do here, does a disservice to tolerant, reasonable dialog. I, for one, am shocked that you continue to defend MantaDiver in light of the “nads” post.

I wasn’t defending that at all. I was talking about what happened in the video. I thought the accusation was that he treated the woman who had bumped him in the video in a sexist manner, which I didn’t see (unless I missed something). If this isn’t about the video, but rather his comments here, then this is just a misunderstanding.

[Author]

Posts