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I got maybe three drops of water on me yesterday. Road from EFC Metro @ 7AM and back from Metro Center @ 5pm – NON EVENT!

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What we are getting at is shared responsibility and the need to educate people. More frequent users, i.e. anyone reading this, know not only to call their passes but also when to slow, how to pass, and generally how to watch out for one’s own behind. I call my passes, headphones or not, it doesn’t take much energy and I know that, if push came to shove (crash), I could at least say “I tried.”

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You: Couple walking three abreast with your dog on the corkscrew of death near Lyon Village.
Me: Guy who diligently braked and hung out behind you until the end of said corkscrew of death.

First of all, I’m not some “a@@hole” trying to sneak up on people, I explained that I was following you since you were walking three abreast on a crazy section of trail with some fellow “a@@holes” trying to ascend. Second, “my f@ggy friends in spandex” aren’t trying to harass you by calling their passes, they are just calling their passes – it is called being polite. Third, I hope you treat your dog better than you treat people. Finally, while I know real men dutifully grind their hindquarters raw wearing denim on their bikes, I’m just not ready for that level of discomfort – so spandex for now!

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I routinely win the totally-unofficial-but-it-happens “Long Pee” event that routinely takes place here in our 1950’s vintage echo chamber of a bathroom. People probably think I have issues, maybe I do.

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I’m going to make that into a T-Shirt with a T-Rex eating a car and shooting fire out of its nose. Who is at the top of the food chain now Mr. Hummer who likes to run the stop sign on Lincoln?

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Based on my experience, you have to go into these kind of conversations with a VERY even tone and avoid any sort of escalation. Even the hottest hotheads will respond to reason, that or you’ll get a knuckle sandwich. Never yell obscenities, just critique what you see.

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I notice the gesturing as well on a couple of occasions. Then again, other times he would tip his hat at random women, so who knows what he was up to. Also, if it is public property and some dude has constructed a fence that keeps other people out, then it has got to go.

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@GuyContinental 51578 wrote:

Awww I get barnacled a lot more than I barnacle… does that make me a whale? Seems inappropriate for a skinny guy on a road bike.

Nevermind how long ago – but some years ago – some people called me Ishmael.

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Me and the Captain are going to make it happen, BLINKERS FOR EVERYONE!

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Whelp, time to start using my hybrid, trail-street route, the crowds make me nervous.

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Might have been the same girl riding on the FRICKING SIDEWALK in Falls Church. Darwin needs to get moving on whoever this is.

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I investigated this recently and the gym there is fricking amazing, just amazing. You have to be GS, and on a special list, but if you can get in, do it. As for parking, plenty to be had in the garage, or across the street at DOC next to the black vans.

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You: Jogging GW lady with the earbuds on.

Me: Guy trying to get to work who you apologized to profusely having confused me for a long-forgotten childhood heirloom, Justin Beibert, or a large sack of money – proceeding to try to run into me not once, but THREE TIMES.

I fricking love Star Trek, love it. But there is no reason to order Evasive Maneuver Riker 1 by the Washington Monument on a crowded trail. It looked as though you were playing hopscotch. I dodged you once, but three times took all of my Vulcan focus skills. Your apology was heartfelt, but I don’t think you understood the extent to which that could have ended up as a bad game of three dimensional chess.

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You: Sunshine in a fricking bottle. On a red/black road bike, with matching red/black clothes, by Roosevelt Island this AM around 7:40am.

Me: Dude on black bike who looked like he rummaged through a donation bin for his bike clothes – orange stained jacket, weird shorts, seemingly unnecessary white wool socks.

I’m sorry I didn’t seem too chatty this morning, but I’m never that chatty. I could tell that you were out for a pleasure ride and that is awesome, it is a great day to do it on. I was humbled by your assessment that I was “a guy who had been riding all winter.” You got my number. I’m not sure what gave it away, maybe the grizzled look, bulging calves, or general bewilderment as to all the people appearing on the trail. I will try to transition from Winter Grime Biker to Sunshine Fun Biker, I just need more time.

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Weirdly enough, that assault happened in the exact same spot where my buddy was jumped about 15 years ago. I’ve had people gander at me a couple of times with that menacing “moving money bag” look, but then they start to notice the ripped cycling clothes and poor body grooming.

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