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How can this be bad?

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Cat 6 (n): An unofficial, non-sanctioned, underwhelming bike race instigated and sustained by childhood loss, common perniciousness, or bike lust.

Catastrophuck (n): See 1988 comedic-drama “Beaches,” starring a slightly younger Bette Midler.

Cork-Screw-of-Death (n): The godforsaken, Slip n’ Slide-esque, section of the Custis trail behind Lyon Village.

ELITE (N to the proper): An obtuse ninja, existing in an alternate time-space dimension, indifferent to the peons who dare tread on the same ground.

Shoaler (n): A biker or pedestrian engaged in the act of shoaling, wherein a mass of MUT users form a shoal at a stop light or stop sign, making for a catastrophuck.

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See those crossing stripes they are LAVA – avoid the LAVA, LAVA! For bonus points please to be enjoying the concept of a two-lane Helpy scenario – i.e. Parkway/Memorial crossing.

Remember, at every crossing: Consider, Reconnoiter, Approach, Panic

The tried and true CRAP technique will keep you paranoid and alive. It may also induce bowel cramping, but it is totally worth it.

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Right – one lane instead of two – for some reason the path reminded me a lot of Candy Land?

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ELITE crush grannies for breakfast.

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Have to agree on the no earbud thing – nonetheless the guy who wears DJ headphones and rides on the MVT with no hands – that is just dangerous.

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Dana many thanks, my daily crossings pine for a shorter and more graceful gallop across the “parkway” of fury.

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5. Not enough cats.

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Riding through this was miserable, next time I’ll go around. Just a few things:

1. 10 foot leash law = 10 feet. Someone had a French bulldog trotting off in a different zip code.
2. Run with your dog on your right, this allows for human-language passing and less leg nipping.
3. Old dude who sprinted at me while I was trying to pass the three-across clump of ladies – WTF dude? It is a 5k?
4. Lady on bike telling me to be patient after hearing me calling 107 passes is just a little annoying.

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@dbb 27374 wrote:

This may be an opportunity to use those Pennsylvania Ave cycletrack flexible bollards to choke the roadway down to one lane. A more attractive (less ugly?) alternative might be some kind of traffic dot that vibrated the auto’s wheel when it gets out of the traffic lane. DaveK may have some good ideas on this as well.

Flexible bollards for everyone!

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Dear dude in the fluorescent green vest en route to the W&ODizzy on Van Buren this morning who REALLY wanted a Cat 6 race,

I was waiting for the multi-ton SUV to actually indicate whether it was going to proceed in our direction, I’m sorry I had to slow down for this. However, you cutting across from behind me in front of the SUV to shave a few seconds off your trip into town was just stupid. Moreover, just as a rule, try to keep up the pace if you are going to Cat 6 – you need to do some hill work, buy some shoes, or something. You moustachio is baller.

Love,

Pfunk

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Going to run smack into this – fine as long as all the dog poop is promptly removed from hot asphalt. The scent, it stings the nostrils.

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+1,000 for drugs. I herniated a disc playing rugby and could barely move until I found my friends Codeine and Valium. Also, don’t forget NMTI up on Route 7. One hour massage for $35. Most of the time they are okay, but they are students.

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Glad to hear that you are okay. Remember the old bike adage – “Two lanes of traffic – one of kindness, one of anger.”

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Yeah, small wooden stakes painted pink, they are positioned well, or about as well as they can be for the crossing, but the intersection is going to be a mess.

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