Missed connection

[cvcalhoun]

@Steve O 116603 wrote:

Or you could have asked simply, “Why?”

Oh, he explained it was because he could have hit me. Because apparently it’s not his job to look for all traffic while merging, only to look for cars.

[bentbike33]

Me: Catching my breath while ascending the Humpback Bridge after fighting the Friday afternoon headwind across the 14th Street bridge.

You: ELITE cyclist in full kit (matching your frame, of course) passing me smartly without calling your pass. But you gave a wide berth, there was no close oncoming traffic, so no harm no foul.

Me: Unexpectedly starting to catch up to you on the down slope from the Humpback. Perhaps you are turning toward the marina?

You: Continuing north on the MVT.

Me: Approaching your wheel. Perhaps you are interval training and will speed up soon?

You: Commencing an heroic display of expectoration and snot-rocketry.

Me: Squinting into the the copious residual spray, “Really?!?”

You: Continuing to selectively irrigate Lady Bird Johnson Park.

Me: Fueled by irritation-induced adrenaline, I call my pass, pass you, and drop you like a hot rock. As you disappear from my rearview mirror, I hope that my recent bout with a nasty virus left me with enough interferon reserves that I do not catch whatever de-socializing malady you were working so hard to transmit.

PLEASE NOTE: While I suppose your display achieved your objective of no longer having me riding behind you, a more obvious indicator would have been waving me by with your left hand, which would have also left you considerably better hydrated.

[mstone]

Wtf?

[ShawnoftheDread]

Comparing nose blowing to self-pleasure seems a bit much, even by Forum standards.

[bobco85]

Dear (almost) everybody on the M Street cycle track this afternoon:

(rolls up newspaper) BAD humans. Don’t do that. BAD. Stop that.

No, do not walk off the curb directly into my path to join your friends who are standing between the cycle track and road when I have a clear green.
No, do not suddenly cut into the bike lane (missing me by a foot or two) just so that you can drive around the person stopping at the yellow-almost-red light in front of you because you don’t want to stop.
No, don’t tell me, “Oh, I made a wrong turn,” and then CONTINUE salmoning in the cycle track when I say, “Woah, this is one way!” as we nearly run into each other in the construction area (no room to bail). That goes for the other 2 salmoners, too, although I didn’t say anything.
No, do not park your gigantic tour buses in one of the only places where there aren’t flex posts specifically placed to prevent people from doing that.
No, do not pull into the spot behind the gigantic tour buses that I was about to use to get around said tour buses so that you can turn on your hazards and temporarily park.

As to the cyclist who came up behind me and did not shoal me at a red light, thank you. You and the courteous drivers and pedestrians kept me sane during that stretch. You all get treats

I had an amazing bike ride today, heading to Fort Foote and the National Arboretum among other places, but the one portion that was unpleasant was M Street. It just stood out so much because on a mostly awesome 62 mile bike ride, those 1.5 miles were hell.

[cvcalhoun]

So I thought the one who told me to get on the sidewalk when there was no sidewalk was bad. But today, I got the one who told me, “Get on the sidewalk, you damned faggot!” When I caught up with him at the next light, he repeated the line, apparently in case I’d missed it the first time. (No, I don’t have a rainbow sticker on my bike; this was apparently just generalized homophobia rather than anything based on actual knowledge.) Wow, we’ve got the complete trifecta: ignorance about bicycles, homophobia, and “educating” people by cursing at them!

[TwoWheelsDC]

You: 5 foot black snake slithering out of the bushes and onto the W&OD at Glen Carlin Park, just as I rode past

Me: Cyclist who wee’d himself just a little while screaming like a child.

FWIW, I hope you made it across the path okay.

[Steve O]

@TwoWheelsDC 116752 wrote:

You: 5 foot black snack

Is that like a licorice stick or something?

[creadinger]

@Steve O 116764 wrote:

Is that like a licorice stick or something?

If only it was audio it would be the perfect entry for the BBC Radio1 Scott Mills game – Innuendo Bingo.

Here’s a clip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTR-Ckz02hQ

[Supermau]

@TwoWheelsDC 116752 wrote:

You: 5 foot black snake slithering out of the bushes and onto the W&OD at Glen Carlin Park, just as I rode past

Me: Cyclist who wee’d himself just a little while screaming like a child.

FWIW, I hope you made it across the path okay.

Almost ran over a couple myself last week. The first one was too fast but this one allowed me the photo op.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]8717[/ATTACH]

[Brendan von Buckingham]

Me: Morning commute off of Memorial Bridge. Stopped at the red at Independence to cross over to West Potomac Park.

You: Non-moving Mercedes pointing eastbound. I’d normally say heading, but you weren’t heading anywhere even though you had the green. All the cars behind you were forced to go around you.

Me: Engine trouble? You seem awful calm. A little too calm. Are you asleep? Oh my god, what if you’re dead? Oh well, one way to find out.

WHAP WHAP WHAP on the hood.

You: “Huh, what? Oh right.” And off you zoomed. At least you had the green again.

Wake up calls: I’ll just put them in the category of intangible benefits–like picking up road debris–that cyclists provide to our driving cohorts.

[Vicegrip]

Stopped at a light. Truck drives past going the other way scruffy driver yells “Nice diaper*” I yell back “Nice tooth”. He laughs. I laugh. We both Win.

*He obviously does not understand the ergonomics of Assos and the kuku kabana.

[KWL]

Crazy Ivan runner on the MVT near National Airport this evening. I did not curse her or make gestures. It felt Dirt-y.

[pfunkallstar]

You: Cellphone-talking, electric bike-riding, dude on W&OD near Lee Highway

Me: Guy taking it all in.

Message: Biking – you are doing it wrong.

[Terpfan]

You (all): The group of 7 runners on Trollheim stretching across the whole boardwalk two deep.
Me: The cyclist who mumbled, augh, *something that rhymes with duck*, and called “on your left.”
You (all): The group that amazingly parted ways giving me ample room to pass.
Me: Impressed given how clockwork the movement was and how you were actually listening for calls. Normally I would complain about using the whole path, but you all were more responsive than most the people I encounter.

[Author]

Posts