Worst Ride of the Year

[acc]

Some days nothing goes right on a ride. The weather is gray, the air is moist, the temperature is somewhere between clammy and downright cold. My right sock is wrinkled and pressed up against the fastening on my shoe, irritating me with each revolution of my crank. Because my ear warmers aren’t on straight, my helmet rubs against my forehead in one particular spot just above my eyebrow and it starts to throb. I am half a mile into a twenty-mile ride. I wish I had stayed in bed.

I can’t get into the rhythm, I stop to pull up my sock and push down my ear warmers but my tights slip and now my left knee feels restricted. A hundred fat geese waddle across the road and hiss at me when I yell at them to move. I stop and wonder if anyone has ever been attacked by a flock of geese.

The saddle isn’t comfortable; I shift positions forwards then backwards. My ass hurts. Maybe it’s the grip I have on the handlebars. So I go into the drops, onto the hoods, elbows bent, elbows bent more. God this sucks, I want to go home. I keep trying new things, use a different stroke on the pedals, shift earlier or later, find a new grip, slow down, speed up.

I wheeze and cough and spend more time fighting the bike and myself. Nothing works and I’m out later than I meant to be and the sun has almost set and even though I have lights I start to worry. Cyclists are not expected to be on the road in the dark where I am. I stare at my GPS more than the road and am convinced it’s lying. Twenty miles feel like fifty on a mountain bike and I’m turning into the home stretch, the last section of woods and I’m already thinking about the Diet Coke in my cup holder in the car.

And that’s when I look up and notice the lights. I knew the staff had been turning them on for the evening but I didn’t pay any attention to them beyond a smile and a friendly greeting.
For the last mile I rode through thousands and thousands of lights all by myself. What had been the worst ride of the year became the most magical.

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Topic

[fuzzy]

Sounds similar to when I lost my virginity.

[GuyContinental]

@fuzzy 38327 wrote:

Sounds similar to when I lost my virginity.

Awesome. Go on kids, re-read acc’s post with that in mind…

[ejwillis62]

Funny, almost choked on my coffee. now the people in the next office definately think i am crazy. And I cannot explain, dull research analyst would not get the joke.

[Certifried]

@GuyContinental 38329 wrote:

Awesome. Go on kids, re-read acc’s post with that in mind…

I wasn’t able to finish because I was laughing so hard (that’s what she said)

[Arlingtonrider]

LOL, likewise! Don’t be drinking coffee.

[ShawnoftheDread]

@acc 38295 wrote:

And that’s when I look up and notice the lights. I knew the staff had been turning them on for the evening but I didn’t pay any attention to them beyond a smile and a friendly greeting.
For the last mile I rode through thousands and thousands of lights all by myself. What had been the worst ride of the year became the most magical.

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I keep thinking that’s ACC’s driveway, and that she has a staff.

[Vicegrip]

@ShawnoftheDread 38342 wrote:

I keep thinking that’s ACC’s driveway, and that she has a staff.

asylums have staff too…..

[consularrider]

@Vicegrip 38419 wrote:

asylums have staff too…..

That’s harsh! :rolleyes:

[acc]

So do correctional facilities…

I was just now thinking about how important bike safety is, especially because I ride solo so often. It’s important to me to know my equipment is in good working order before I go out for a hard ride.

Tire pressure is one of the first things I check by gripping my tires firmly between my fingers. I usually carry a standing floor pump in the back of my car because it’s the fastest way I know to blow up a tire to the proper pressure. And I’m careful not to overinflate my tubes; the sound of sudden blowout is something I want to avoid.

I check my brakes too. I squeeze them firmly and evenly to make sure the pads grip the rims and the release lever is in the proper closed position. Sometimes I check to make sure the pads are not prematurely worn down. (I have a bad habit of death gripping my brakes.)

Finally, I give my chain and pedals a quick once over to make sure everything is mounted correctly and moves without sticking or catching. A clean, well-lubricated chain makes all the difference.
Have a good ride.

[eminva]

acc: Touche’!

Everyone besides acc: you are out of your league.

Liz

[vvill]

Today I was riding up a hill during a KOM attempt and a car turned in front of me slowing me down and then it stopped halfway up the hill to turn. WORST RIDE EVAR!!

I also failed to top up my tires before hand. Slowed me down by at least 0.001%.

[Greenbelt]

Deleted….

[Author]

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