When someone yells at you from their car….

[Mark Blacknell]

Riding down 9th Street (between Quincy and Randolph) yesterday, and this guy decides that he simply cannot stand the idea of being behind me for half a block, so he passes me with about 4 inches to spare. All so he can – of course – be first in line at the red light in front of us. I find this a little curious, so I roll up next to him, and ask if it was really that hard to wait a little bit?

“Hell no I’m not gonna wait so you can pass me again.”

Here I admit that I’m a little confused. Hadn’t passed him before. And can’t really figure out how I could “pass him again” if he’d stayed behind me. So I point out that:

“It didn’t save you any time to pass me that close.”

“You should be in the bike lane!”

“Uh, dude, there is no bike lane on this street.”

“F**k you!” and rolls up his window (we’d been taking across what I presume to be his father, sitting in the passenger seat. Good job raising your kid, dad!)

So, thinking back to this thread, I blow kisses.

He didn’t like that very much.

Point made, I decide to avoid further excitement and drop back behind to wait for the light to change. He decides that it would be funny to throw it into reverse. Nice.

I get a snap of his plate, and get ready to bounce if I have to.

Light turns green. Oh, look, turns out he’s turning left and he’s got to . . . wait for traffic.

I filter by on the right.

Blowing kisses.

So to you, Mr. Blue Toyota Highlander, Virginia Plate YBL-8599, William & Mary Alumni, I love you man. I really do.

[DaveK]

@Mark Blacknell 11016 wrote:

So to you, Mr. Blue Toyota Highlander, Virginia Plate YBL-8599, William & Mary Alumni, I love you man. I really do.

That’s the same make and model that yelled at us on the Conte’s ride this summer, although it was a 40s-50s woman driving.

[PrintError]

@DaveK 11017 wrote:

That’s the same make and model that yelled at us on the Conte’s ride this summer, although it was a 40s-50s woman driving.

It’s a whole family of haters!

[OneEighth]

This is what I like to see—vehicle descriptions, tags, and, please, physical descriptions of the operators. Now we just need a database.

[eminva]

I have not had a lot of motorists yelling at me in my years of commuting. Sometime in the last year, one guy did yell, “The rules apply to you, too!” right as I was taking my turn at a four way stop, having dutifully come to a complete stop with a dropped foot. I think what he meant to say was, “According to my interpretation of the rules, you, cyclist lady, should wait to go until all motor vehicles have cleared the intersection.” Anyway, this wasn’t even that hostile.

Only once did I take the extraordinary step of talking to a motorist a few years ago when a driver cut me off not once but twice in a one block span. I caught up with him at a red light and asked him to watch out more carefully for bikes. He was almost in tears apologizing and promising to be more careful.

I often wonder if I get a different response because I am a woman? Any other female cyclists have any insight?

I am thinking of running a test of buying a bunch of reflective bands and giving them out on the W&OD after dark (because heaven knows I’m not getting out there early enough to give them out on the morning darkness shift) and see if the ninjas are more receptive to these gifts from me, who looks like Mrs. Claus by the time I’m all bundled up for my commute.

Liz

[DaveK]

@OneEighth 11024 wrote:

This is what I like to see—vehicle descriptions, tags, and, please, physical descriptions of the operators. Now we just need a database.

Re-posting for emphasis. As the police will tell you “we can’t arrest a car”. Unfortunately sometimes they won’t even look for a car at all.

[DaveK]

@eminva 11032 wrote:

I often wonder if I get a different response because I am a woman?

Research shows that women, all other factors being equal, are given more space in traffic by passing cars.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/somerset/5334208.stm (the main idea of the study is also food for thought)

[KLizotte]

@eminva 11032 wrote:

I often wonder if I get a different response because I am a woman? Any other female cyclists have any insight? Liz

I strongly suspect that men respond differently to female cyclists (some shred of chilary still exists?) especially if they are overtly feminine (long hair, street clothes, baby on board or simply a baby carrier). I’ve only experienced two road rage incidents thus far and they were both by women – one was a raging maniac (with a kid in the passenger seat), the other just made rude comments about my taking up space on the road (while she was smoking no less). Also, my bike is very non-threatening (comfort hybrid often with a basket on back) and I think that helps.

When I lived in rural Massachusetts I biked all over the back roads (no such thing as bike lanes or MUTS there) and never experienced anything even remotely hostile by cars; it never even occurred to me such a thing might happen till I moved here so I suspect it’s more of an urban epidemic. But then again, the MA roads I was on were wide enough that I could never be accused of slowing anyone down.

I’ve noticed that when a driver does stop to let me cross, say at a crosswalk, they usually look all tense and in a hurry but when I smile, wave, and give the thumb’s up sign, I almost always see the driver relax and smile back. Sometimes they even return the wave. Good kharma all around. For that reason, I always try to thank drivers for giving me the right of way even if they are just following the law. I also say thanks to peds that move out of my way. A little civility goes a long way to soothing jangled nerves.

[dasgeh]

@KLizotte 11048 wrote:

I strongly suspect that men respond differently to female cyclists (some shred of chilary still exists?) especially if they are overtly feminine (long hair, street clothes, baby on board or simply a baby carrier).

My husband is at home with our 1-year-old, and they’re often out and about in Arlington on our dutch-style bike with a bobike mini (which I HIGHLY recommend). He’s also a cat 3 road racer, often out on weekends in lycra on his road bike. The difference in how he’s treated on one bike v. the other is amazing. When he’s out with our daughter, cars roll down their windows all the time to complement the bike, seat, child, ask questions, etc. It helps that her helmet has a pink mohawk. When he’s on the road bike, drivers are not so polite (though he’s fast enough he usually can’t hear them).

I commute on a road bike, and must not look very lady like — I get yelled out more than my fair share. Unfortunately, I’m not going so fast I can’t hear them.

@KLizotte 11048 wrote:

I’ve noticed that when a driver does stop to let me cross, say at a crosswalk, they usually look all tense and in a hurry but when I smile, wave, and give the thumb’s up sign, I almost always see the driver relax and smile back. Sometimes they even return the wave. Good kharma all around. For that reason, I always try to thank drivers for giving me the right of way even if they are just following the law. I also say thanks to peds that move out of my way. A little civility goes a long way to soothing jangled nerves.

I completely agree, though I still finding annoying that cars think they’re doing me a favor when they follow the law. Then I think of our daughter in the pink-mohawked helmet and smile.

[Joe Chapline]

@dasgeh 11051 wrote:

My husband is at home with our 1-year-old, and they’re often out and about in Arlington on our dutch-style bike with a bobike mini (which I HIGHLY recommend). He’s also a cat 3 road racer, often out on weekends in lycra on his road bike. The difference in how he’s treated on one bike v. the other is amazing. When he’s out with our daughter, cars roll down their windows all the time to complement the bike, seat, child, ask questions, etc. It helps that her helmet has a pink mohawk. When he’s on the road bike, drivers are not so polite (though he’s fast enough he usually can’t hear them).

I suspect there’s something to this. There is hostility toward perceived “Lance Armstrong wannabes” (to quote the cliche). In my limited experience riding a road bike with “bikey” gear, it has seemed to me that there’s greater hostility than when I look like a guy going to work. (Or a missionary of some sort, sometimes that’s what people think.)

[Arlingtonrider]

@KLizotte 11048 wrote:

I’ve noticed that when a driver does stop to let me cross, say at a crosswalk, they usually look all tense and in a hurry but when I smile, wave, and give the thumb’s up sign, I almost always see the driver relax and smile back. Sometimes they even return the wave. Good kharma all around. For that reason, I always try to thank drivers for giving me the right of way even if they are just following the law. I also say thanks to peds that move out of my way. A little civility goes a long way to soothing jangled nerves.

I’ve had the same experience, doing pretty much the same things. I’ve even been thanked by motorists a few times while I’ve been waiting to cross a street in that double lane situation, for hand signaling to them to keep going because I didn’t trust the drivers in the lane next to them or couldn’t see over to that lane.

Patience and a little lipstick do seem to help. Added: at least in the case of crossing streets, which is a whole different ball game from riding in traffic.

[jrenaut]

@Arlingtonrider 11054 wrote:

Patience and a little lipstick do seem to help.

Are you saying we should all try lipstick?

[Arlingtonrider]

Only if you want to.

[5555624]

@Arlingtonrider 11056 wrote:

Only if you want to.

That’s probably all the encouragement he needs. (Can someone tell his wife to hide her lipstick?)

Alas, lipstick won’t help at 3:00 a.m., but there’s no traffic, then, either.

[acc]

I am reminded of the time when Dirt put a dozen roses in his backpack and rode home with the blooms in plain sight. He said he got nothing but love from the cars around him.

ann

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