Time to join the Velominati? Embrace being Elite?

[TwoWheelsDC]

@thecyclingeconomist 35078 wrote:

Is this the definition of “Elite” to you all? Then refer to Rule #5… Bwhahaha.

:p

http://www.velominati.com/

(Can someone link me to the original rant where the term “Elite” became forum terminology? When you search the term… it’s a bit overused to find the original that I’ve read reference to.)

ELITE is anyone faster than me…crazy jerks!

[Mikey]

It’s spelled ELITE! Bush leage mistake

[jabberwocky]

@thecyclingeconomist 35078 wrote:

http://www.velominati.com/

Am I the only one who finds that site profoundly annoying? Its like all the snobbish conformity of the roadie world condensed into one web page.

[vvill]

Not quite profoundly annoying, but I do usually make sure my sunglasses are UNDER my helmet straps. I like to take off my helmet while being able to keep my sunglasses on. I also don’t usually remove my valve nut/cap on my tubes. I’ve read the rules before but a lot of them don’t match my riding priorities, e.g. I wear MTB gear on commutes on my road bike all the time.

[eminva]

Here is the original thread:

http://bikearlingtonforum.com/showthread.php?2684-Dear-ELITE-biker

As for the Rules, I feel my strict adherence to Rule #9 exempts me from having to pay attention to any of the other rules.

Liz

[Certifried]

That site is entirely satirical. Mostly. Some of “The Rules” do seem to be a sad acceptance of ELITEism with a warm embrace. After all, if you can’t laugh at yourself…. http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/#5

[baiskeli]

This is why we have a Forum Dictionary.

ELITE (N to the proper): An obtuse ninja, existing in an alternate time-space dimension, indifferent to the peons who dare tread on the same ground.

[TwoWheelsDC]

What I find interesting is that some of the ridiculous rules are written like they are meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but I’m pretty sure they are completely serious…and now I constantly stress about my sock height. Dammit!

[KelOnWheels]

I fail at rule #56. I must have milk.

Also I feel that rule #57 does not apply to beater bikes, which should be enstickered.

I do tell myself to Rule 5 from time to time

[ShawnoftheDread]

I think it’s both annoying and hilarious. I break all the rules except 5, 9, 40, and 47. Okay, sometimes I break 5.

[Certifried]

If you’re not blasting this song as you drive the herd of hipsters down your local path, you’re not doing it right.

[rcannon100]

All good colloquialisms (ie “ELITE rider) come from rants!

Have seen this before. Makes you realize how different the different bike cultures are. We need a set of rules for bike commuters. Something like

• If your Kit and your equipment matches, you’re not a commuter.
• If some part of your bike is not held together by duck tape, you are not a commuter.
• Nobody cares what you wear; save the racing spandex for the race
• Rule #9 still applies
• Rule #43 still applies
• It’s not about speed; its about safety

[OneEighth]

#50 non-compliant.

[KelOnWheels]

@rcannon100 35140 wrote:

If some part of your bike is not held together by duck tape, you are not a commuter.

Sweet! I’m a commuter!

[PeteD]

I do enjoy reading the site, as they do at least have a fine appreciation for cycle racing, specifically the 80’s era. I do agree most of it is tongue-in-cheek, and there’s no way anyone could seriously adhere to all 91 rules.

[Author]

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