The Shoal Report

[baiskeli]

I thought of a new tactic while being shoaled on Penn. Ave. this morning – assuming an anti-shoaling defensive stance (ASDS). You move to the left, then while keeping your back wheel to the left you turn to the right just as you reach the stop, thereby occupying the full lane at a 45-degree angle. When it’s time to go, you straighten out and move on. I didn’t think of it in time to test it though. It would probably just get me shoaled on the right side.

[krazygl00]

@Brendan von Buckingham 83351 wrote:

Shoaling is a law of nature.

My theory is that bikes in traffic are like round grains of sand in an aggregate mix where cars and trucks are like sharp angle stones of granite. Each has its own Angle of Repose. Sand slumps at lower angles, i.e. gets moving sooner and fits in smaller spaces. Sharp angled stones need steeper angles to get moving and jam together sooner, i.e. stop, because they can’t fit in smaller spaces.

The natural tendency of the cyclist, or any vehicle, is to move as far as they naturally can until forced to stop. The only thing more impossible than trying to get stopping cyclists to stop in an orderly single file line is to get a landslide of sand to stop in an orderly single file line of sand grains. Stopping cyclists don’t need lanes to keep themselves in line because they have no problem untangling and moving again. Cars need lanes to organize stops because without them they’d gridlock and never be able to untangle and get moving again in any efficient way.

Thinking of vehicles as different sized pieces of aggregate also explains why it’s naturally right that bikes filter through lanes of stopped cars. So props to all you geotechnical engineers out there.

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[ShawnoftheDread]

Got shoaled by a car this morning so I shoaled it back. Driver got irate so I stopped and made him wait even longer while I scratched myself.

[Brendan von Buckingham]

You asked for it: http://www.rpi.edu/academics/engineering/files/cee/cee-newsletter-winter2013.pdf

Or this since I’m not an engineer in any way, maybe this

[dasgeh]

@baiskeli 83406 wrote:

You don’t pass women, you ride behind them and look at their butts in spandex. Duh.

-Real Man

PS. Not better.

-Humanity

[mstone]

well, this thread has taken an awkward turn

[lordofthemark]

@mstone 83426 wrote:

well, this thread has taken an awkward turn

Maybe we could discuss Medicaid expansion?

Speaking of changing the subject, is everyone familiar with the (widely derided as sexist) WMATA ad campaign, where one woman tells another “Oh the metrobuses’ time between repairs is X” and her friend replies “can we just talk about shoes?” ? (the male version is some guy tells his friend about the different kind of metro buses, and the reply is “can we just talk about sports?”) Well right now the metro station at Navy Yard, near USDOT AND DDOT HQ, is covered with DSW ads about every kind of shoe. And I’m thinking “can we just talk about buses?”

[UnknownCyclist]

@dasgeh 83423 wrote:

PS. Not better.

Damned if you pass them; damned if you don’t.

What else is new?:rolleyes:

[baiskeli]

@dasgeh 83423 wrote:

PS. Not better.

-Humanity

Just expanding on the “how men think” theme.

[rcannon100]

@UnknownCyclist 83433 wrote:

Damned if you pass shoalers; damned if you don’t pass shoalers.

What else is new?:rolleyes:

Fixed that for you.

[83b]

@83(b) 83118 wrote:

People who have indefensibly shoaled me in the past week or so, in no particular order:

• many CaBis;
• people who can’t start without doing an awkward hop-shuffle;
• people who can’t maintain 15 mph at a minimum;
• people wearing bookbags;
• someone violating the “tights are not pants” rule;
• a pedicab;
• a mom pushing a jogging stroller;
• a Honda Accord;
• people wearing hi-viz clothing and/or who have mirrors attached to their bikes;
• a line of segways;
• people wearing helmets;

Addendum: people who don’t have fenders when its raining!

[creadinger]

@baiskeli 83444 wrote:

Just expanding on the “how men think” theme.

On Saturday afternoon I was riding home via the MVT. I caught up to an attractive woman on a bike and because she was going kinda fast (slow enough for me to catch up, but too fast for me to pass on a busy trail) I followed her for a mile or so. The whole time I was thinking I hope she hasn’t read this thread lately because she probably thinks I’m creepin because of baiskeli. Damn.

[UnknownCyclist]

@creadinger 83629 wrote:

The whole time I was thinking I hope she hasn’t read this thread lately because she probably thinks I’m creepin because of baiskeli.

Are you sure you were creepin on her because of baiskeli?:rolleyes:

[brendan]

On the Q St. bike lane, I usually pull over to the right of (or to the right side of) the bike lane when I stop at a light. I invite everyone shoal me.

If I’m feeling up to it, and traffic is clear enough, I pass them to the left (outside) of the bike lane. Or I just go slower. Depends on mood.

B

PS – don’t block the crosswalk, jerks.

PPS – so glad they fixed that cutout/pothole across the bike lane on the east side of 14th! It was pretty dangerous and was there forever.

[baiskeli]

@creadinger 83629 wrote:

On Saturday afternoon I was riding home via the MVT. I caught up to an attractive woman on a bike and because she was going kinda fast (slow enough for me to catch up, but too fast for me to pass on a busy trail) I followed her for a mile or so. The whole time I was thinking I hope she hasn’t read this thread lately because she probably thinks I’m creepin because of baiskeli. Damn.

Sorry. I doubt many women were walking around completely oblivious to the fact that men sometimes look at them until I informed them though.

[Author]

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