The Shoal Report

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Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 202 total)
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  • #999399

    Shoaling is a law of nature.

    My theory is that bikes in traffic are like round grains of sand in an aggregate mix where cars and trucks are like sharp angle stones of granite. Each has its own Angle of Repose. Sand slumps at lower angles, i.e. gets moving sooner and fits in smaller spaces. Sharp angled stones need steeper angles to get moving and jam together sooner, i.e. stop, because they can’t fit in smaller spaces.

    The natural tendency of the cyclist, or any vehicle, is to move as far as they naturally can until forced to stop. The only thing more impossible than trying to get stopping cyclists to stop in an orderly single file line is to get a landslide of sand to stop in an orderly single file line of sand grains. Stopping cyclists don’t need lanes to keep themselves in line because they have no problem untangling and moving again. Cars need lanes to organize stops because without them they’d gridlock and never be able to untangle and get moving again in any efficient way.

    Thinking of vehicles as different sized pieces of aggregate also explains why it’s naturally right that bikes filter through lanes of stopped cars. So props to all you geotechnical engineers out there.

    #999400
    Dickie
    Participant

    Nearly took down the Bike Admin himself this morning, not sure who if anyone was to blame but I did yell “Nice Shoal” for good measure, Regardless it was good to see the Tim Man if only briefly. In other news, 100 yards later I was harassed by a driver… sigh!

    #999401
    consularrider
    Participant

    @Dickie 83352 wrote:

    Nearly took down the Bike Admin himself this morning, not sure who if anyone was to blame but I did yell “Nice Shoal” for good measure, Regardless it was good to see the Tim Man if only briefly. In other news, 100 yards later I was harassed by a driver… sigh!

    He is such a scofflaw. ;)

    #999404
    dkel
    Participant

    @Brendan von Buckingham 83351 wrote:

    My theory is that bikes in traffic are like round grains of sand in an aggregate mix where cars and trucks are like sharp angle stones of granite.

    This is pretty brilliant analysis, I think. It won’t stop me from getting aggravated at shoalers, though.

    #999405
    dasgeh
    Participant

    Shoaling, I can deal with. I’m not particularly fast, so if you’re faster than me, meh. It’s more frustrating when someone shoals me _assuming_ they’re faster than me because they have a penis and I don’t. But those flat-tired, over-dressed, fair-weather shoalers usually just motivate me to get a PR up Rosslyn Hill. So fine.

    The worst, I fine, is at the Intersection of Doom. Pretty much at any corner, if bikes line up right at the curb cut, they’ll block traffic going perpendicular to them. This is particularly problematic at the SE corner of Lee and Lynn, because the ridiculous poll blocks the natural path behind “I have to be at the edge of the curb cut during the entire red” cyclists. It seems like those who know stop with their front wheels even with the gravel, leaving a clear path to get to Key Bridge, and line up single file behind that, leaving a path for people going down to the MVT. Then some shoal-pro pulls all the way past the line and to the edge of the curb cut, causing gridlock on the sidewalk. All of this is made more frustrating by the fact that this is infrastructure FAIL that could easily be fixed with some more concrete and some markings.

    WHEN WILL THE SIDEWALK BE FIXED. Weren’t we promised improvements here YEARS ago?

    #999406
    rcannon100
    Participant
    #999408
    dkel
    Participant

    @dasgeh 83357 wrote:

    It’s more frustrating when someone shoals me _assuming_ they’re faster than me because they have a penis and I don’t.

    Get Dickie to find you a dildo on the trail. Then you can have a penis, too.

    @rcannon100 83358 wrote:

    7 things you should give up to be a happy cyclist, London Cyclists

    “manoeuvre”
    Heh.

    #999409
    dasgeh
    Participant

    @dkel 83360 wrote:

    Get Dickie to find you a dildo on the trail. Then you can have a penis, too.

    Maybe if I mount it on my rack, I won’t get shoaled by those dicks that assume penis = pedal faster.

    Quote:
    7 things you should give up to be a happy cyclist, London Cyclists

    Fair enough. Except in Arlington you’d have to add
    8. Give up hope that they will ever do anything to make Lynn and Lee safer.

    #999410
    UrbanEngineer
    Participant

    @dasgeh 83357 wrote:

    It’s more frustrating when someone shoals me _assuming_ they’re faster than me because they have a penis and I don’t.

    [ATTACH=CONFIG]5350[/ATTACH]
    from bikeyface.com

    #999411
    americancyclo
    Participant

    @baiskeli 83266 wrote:

    My theory is that people ride bikes the way they walk, rather than the way they drive cars.

    I will shoal the !@#$%^&*() out of a sidewalk intersection as a pedestrian. I was brought up to stand at the edge of traffic when waiting to cross, not perch on the curb.

    #999413
    83b
    Participant

    @Brendan von Buckingham 83351 wrote:

    Stopping cyclists don’t need lanes to keep themselves in line because they have no problem untangling and moving again.

    I’m afraid I disagree, adamantly, about this part. Unless “no problem” means I’m allowed to treat it like a mountain-cross mass start where unintentional contact is considered fair play. Which I’ve had happen on not just one occasion.

    East Capitol was a terrific mess again this morning and I’ve given up even the pretense of trying to pass shoalers courteously.

    In review, shoaling is not safe. It also makes you a gigantic vibrating personal massager.1 Honor the social contract.

    1And not one of the cool fancy ones. One made in China from lead paint and recycled cell phones.

    #999418
    DismalScientist
    Participant

    @UrbanEngineer 83362 wrote:

    [ATTACH=CONFIG]5350[/ATTACH]
    from bikeyface.com

    Always check whether the dress-wearers are cheating… er… are riding an e-bike.

    #999428
    rcannon100
    Participant

    @DismalScientist 83371 wrote:

    Always check whether the dress-wearers are cheating… er… are riding an e-bike.

    I saw a cheater I think last friday. Both tires were all but flat. Errrr, you probably wouldnt need to cheat if you inflated your tires!

    #999433
    dasgeh
    Participant

    @DismalScientist 83371 wrote:

    Always check whether the dress-wearers are cheating… er… are riding an e-bike.

    If that’s what you need to tell yourself to preserve your manlihood.

    #999454
    baiskeli
    Participant

    You don’t pass women, you ride behind them and look at their butts in spandex. Duh.

    -Real Man

Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 202 total)
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