The Shoal Report

[scoot]

@Tania 116486 wrote:

I think the reason I’ve gotten better on hills/faster in general is because I usually get shoaled at most stop signs/signals (because, you know, I’m a GIRL and clearly we’re slow). Which just makes me want to pass you going uphill that much more. 😎

And the flip side: if you’re going to pass somebody, it’s way more gratifying to do it while they’re actually moving!

Unless they’re cars stuck in traffic, of course

[Mikey]

@bentbike33 116487 wrote:

Interesting idea, but since I use a Camelback, I would have to spit the water at the shoalers rather than squirt them.

I suppose it might work with a sort of outraged spit-take act: “Ppfftt! Where the [choice expletive] do you think you’re going! Stay in line you [vulgar anatomical reference]!”

Worth some consideration.

Just be sure to sing it to the tune of “Nationwide is on your side” – Stay in line you piece of $#!&

[Tania]

@scoot 116490 wrote:

And the flip side: if you’re going to pass somebody, it’s way more gratifying to do it while they’re actually moving!

Unless they’re cars stuck in traffic, of course

I’m still all warm and fuzzy from the time a guy in a full racing kit blew past me as I waited patiently in line with the cars at a red light on Gallows Road – he ran the light but I caught up to him (from a dead stop) and passed him less than a quarter mile later. While wearing baggy shorts, regular tee-shirt, camelback and commuter/mtb shoes. Now that was awesome.

[dasgeh]

@Tania 116494 wrote:

I’m still all warm and fuzzy from the time a guy in a full racing kit blew past me as I waited patiently in line with the cars at a red light on Gallows Road – he ran the light but I caught up to him (from a dead stop) and passed him less than a quarter mile later. While wearing baggy shorts, regular tee-shirt, camelback and commuter/mtb shoes. Now that was awesome.

Nothing beats passing a$$hole shoalers when you’re 9 months pregnant. I’m gonna miss that…

[jrenaut]

@dasgeh 116496 wrote:

Nothing beats passing a$$hole shoalers when you’re 9 months pregnant. I’m gonna miss that…

You can always have more babies.

[Steve O]

I always wish I had professional writers living in my head, so that I could come up with the best thing to say on the spot.

Tuesday evening, heading home on the Custis. Two bikes ahead, Mr. Triguy, kitted out on his $thousand-dollar tri-bike. Gets out of the saddle on the little rise before the ponds. No worries, I’ll just hang back behind him and Joe Commuter ahead of me. We roll along down the hill at Quincy and under the parking deck. On the first sister he’s up out of the saddle again: “ungh…ungh…..ungh” No worries; I give Joe and him a courteous “passing,” roll on up to the top and down to the other sister.

Of course, this has annoyed him that the guy with fenders, sandals and pannier with dress shirt flopping out has passed him. Halfway up the second sister he passes on the left–all momentum, no strength–and continues to slow all the way to the top. Of course I can’t cheerily pass him again, because of the blind sightline, so I just have to slow and roll my eyes as he “ungh..ungh…..ungh……..ungh’s” his way up. At the top he zooms away. I have not interest in chasing him down; I’m just riding home from work after all.

I had 10 seconds behind him on the second sister, but couldn’t think of what to say, so I said nothing. So that I’m ready next time, what should I have said?
– “Please call your pass and don’t slow down afterward.”
– “If you’re going to pass, please maintain your speed.”
– “Please don’t pass and then slow down. It’s considered rude.”

Your input welcome.

[TwoWheelsDC]

steve o;116895 wrote:

i always wish i had professional writers living in my head, so that i could come up with the best thing to say on the spot.

Tuesday evening, heading home on the custis. Two bikes ahead, mr. Triguy, kitted out on his $thousand-dollar tri-bike. Gets out of the saddle on the little rise before the ponds. No worries, i’ll just hang back behind him and joe commuter ahead of me. We roll along down the hill at quincy and under the parking deck. On the first sister he’s up out of the saddle again: “ungh…ungh…..ungh” no worries; i give joe and him a courteous “passing,” roll on up to the top and down to the other sister.

Of course, this has annoyed him that the guy with fenders, sandals and pannier with dress shirt flopping out has passed him. Halfway up the second sister he passes on the left–all momentum, no strength–and continues to slow all the way to the top. Of course i can’t cheerily pass him again, because of the blind sightline, so i just have to slow and roll my eyes as he “ungh..ungh…..ungh……..ungh’s” his way up. At the top he zooms away. I have not interest in chasing him down; i’m just riding home from work after all.

I had 10 seconds behind him on the second sister, but couldn’t think of what to say, so i said nothing. So that i’m ready next time, what should i have said?
– “please call your pass and don’t slow down afterward.”
– “if you’re going to pass, please maintain your speed.”
– “please don’t pass and then slow down. It’s considered rude.”

your input welcome.

“htfu.”

[dkel]

@TwoWheelsDC 116896 wrote:

“htfu.”

“You’ll have to go faster if you think I’m going to benefit from drafting you.”

[hozn]

Yeah, I think it is perfectly appropriate to say, cheerily, “c’mon keep the pace up if you’re going to pass me”.

[ShawnoftheDread]

“If you’d gone with Assos instead of Rapha maybe you’d be able to climb a bit.”

[TwoWheelsDC]

@ShawnoftheDread 116900 wrote:

“If you’d gone with Assos instead of Rapha maybe you’d be able to climb a bit.”

Okay, let’s keep the insults personal here…no need to get specific brands involved.

[ShawnoftheDread]

@TwoWheelsDC 116902 wrote:

Okay, let’s keep the insults personal here…no need to get specific brands involved.

Well you can switch them around. Just the idea that spending big bucks on kit and equipment will make you go fast.

[Phatboing]

@Steve O 116895 wrote:

I always wish I had professional writers living in my head

Is there a rent?

Though you really need a politician or comedian of some description. Writers come home and mull and then think “Oh, that’s clever. I should’ve used that.”

@Steve O 116895 wrote:

I had 10 seconds behind him on the second sister, but couldn’t think of what to say, so I said nothing. So that I’m ready next time, what should I have said?

Maybe you should’ve just laughed your head off.

Or “Try pedaling a little. Really helps.”

Or “Man, hills, amirite?”

[vvill]

@Steve O 116895 wrote:

So that I’m ready next time, what should I have said?

“Nice bike.” (mentions nothing of the rider)

[TwoWheelsDC]

Obligatory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcqIgCJNjto

[Author]

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