Learning moments

[jrenaut]

I’m sure Pete has posted a thread list this before, but it never hurts to start a new one.

Today was my first day commuting on my new bike. I think nearly all of you know that I bought the new bike because a cab u-turned in front of me on PA Ave 12/11 and my old frame ended up bent and totaled.

As I was coming home on PA Ave this afternoon, just two blocks or so before the site of the accident, a car coming the opposite direction slowed to make an illegal u-turn. Having just witnessed another car do the same a block before, and even drive in the bike lane for a bit before moving over, I was in no mood for some jerk to turn through my lane again. I gave him my typical “WTF” gesture and yelled, “No turns!” I slowed down and eventually put a foot down right in front of him, telling him again that he couldn’t turn. He rolled down his window and I told him rather breathlessly that he couldn’t turn there, $100 ticket and two points (I think that’s accurate, right?), and that someone “just like you” hit me a few weeks ago doing exactly what he was doing. I was a bit worked up, though I did manage to keep the words calmish (No profanity or anything like that).

He smiled and said, “Thank you.” Then drove off without turning (At least where I could see).

Now, maybe he was humoring me, but I choose to think that he actually took it as me giving him advice and warning him off a ticket. But I came away with that thinking that I need to tone down my initial reaction. I was a bit embarrassed by his calm response to my yelling. As I said, I was never threatening or name-calling or cursing, which is good, but I probably could have started the encounter off in a happier place.

Anyway, one could argue that we don’t owe anyone who tries to kill us much politeness, and I wouldn’t really disagree. But if the goal is safe cycling infrastructure (And that is my goal), then sometimes we have to swallow our pride, no matter how right we are, and be nice to the [EXPLETIVE DELETED][EXPLETIVE DELETED] drivers who do things that are perhaps ill-advised.

Topic

[Dirt]

Truly awesome, sir. It is really hard to keep your cool under situations like that…. REALLY Hard. It takes practice. Sometimes the situation calls for going ape-shit on someone too…. I haven’t found one lately for me that calls for it, but I do know they exist. Cool that you found a way to talk to people that worked. Gotta keep exploring options.

[KLizotte]

Wow, jrenaut’s unfortunate experiences on the Penn Ave cycletrack shows how much barriers are needed along its length. Such a shame that an innovative way to separate bikes from cars is being ruined by drivers. Good job keeping your cool!

[jrenaut]

It also illustrates how little people know about laws of the road. This was a professional driver, too, in a big black sedan. I’d be all in favor of increasing the difficulty of the written exam for a driver’s license (And making people retake the test every few years).

[Riley Casey]

I would have to confess to a certain willingness to think increasingly badly of drivers as the bulk and ostentatiousness of their vehicles increases. Long black tinted window limos compete with suburban land yachts as objects of scorn and suspicion and most importantly facelessness. Glad to hear of an instance of a reasonable face behind that electric window and thanks for the reminder.

[DaveK]

@jrenaut 39013 wrote:

It also illustrates how little people know about laws of the road. This was a professional driver, too, in a big black sedan. I’d be all in favor of increasing the difficulty of the written exam for a driver’s license (And making people retake the test every few years).

That’s a whole other kettle of fish – there’s nothing about bikes or bike lanes in most driving tests or courses.

[jrenaut]

@DaveK 39035 wrote:

That’s a whole other kettle of fish – there’s nothing about bikes or bike lanes in most driving tests or courses.

There must be something about not turning through a solid white line though, right? I mean, it’s not like it’s unclear that there’s another lane there.

[Terpfan]

Hard for him to respond negatively after you explained being hit. Maybe we should all try the leading off with the line, “A friend of mine was hit close to hear when a driver broke the law and did X.” I think that’s a much more powerful statement than saying someone may get a ticket. I mean, honestly, it’s hard to get a ticket (excpeed speed/red light tickets) without actually being involved in an accident. I say this while sheepishly admitting to receiving a speeding ticket in the Shenandoah Valley this weekend (go figure I hadn’t been speeding all day, but was going down a hill on a side road with no one there and no houses so I let off the brakes long enough to earn myself a nice little ticket and a lecture from a cop about speeding…even after he ran my record to see no other tickets).

[ShawnoftheDread]

I got my only ticket in 20 years out there too. They don’t mess around with DC area folks speeding on their roads.

[consularrider]

@Terpfan 39286 wrote:

… I say this while sheepishly admitting to receiving a speeding ticket in the Shenandoah Valley this weekend (go figure I hadn’t been speeding all day, but was going down a hill on a side road with no one there and no houses so I let off the brakes long enough to earn myself a nice little ticket and a lecture from a cop about speeding…even after he ran my record to see no other tickets).

On your bike?

[jrenaut]

I had two reasonably positive experiences yesterday – west on PA Ave at 14th, the woman who wanted to turn left actually didn’t turn after I told her (loudly) “No turns”. Then the man at the next light who tried to turn (through me) on the bike green stopped and gave me an apologetic wave when I said (also loudly) “You have a red light”.

[Terpfan]

@consularrider 39298 wrote:

On your bike?

No, but challenge accepted! There is a portion where the speed limit seems to drop from 55 down to 45 and I think 35 toward the bottom of this big hill coming off one of the mountain passes. I’m sure I could eclipse the bottom one of those figures. And I’m also equally sure that one of the podunk officers would be more glad to issue me a citation. This one I would definitely go to court for just to record it for posterity’s sake.

[jrenaut]

Really frustrating experience this afternoon. As I was pulling up to the light at 15th and PA Ave, a woman u-turned behind me. She then backed up to park illegally right at the corner. Her window was cracked, so I asked her loudly to please not u-turn through the bike lanes. She was getting out, and yelled back that I should put whatever it was that she was picking up on my bike and take it to wherever she was going. I tried to explain to her that what she did was dangerous and illegal, and she repeated her request that I haul this thing on my bike.

My light turned, and I left. I assume she picked up whatever it was and drove wherever she was going. I hope she got stuck in traffic.

A few blocks later, I realized that what I should have said was, “I’m not asking you not to drive. I’m asking you drive safely and legally.” I didn’t say that. I didn’t swear, I didn’t get angry (just a bit frustrated). So frustrated.

Anyway, that was my ride home. I’m still going to do it again tomorrow.

[Dirt]

@jrenaut 40942 wrote:

So frustrated.

Anyway, that was my ride home. I’m still going to do it again tomorrow.

It isn’t easy dealing with this. People are not going to admit that they’re wrong. You did well and she will behave better next time too.

I was horrible yesterday… funny, but horrible. I’ll write a blog entry about it at lunch.

Rock on, sir!

[JeffC]

It took me several years to realize this (having little kids greatly accelerates the process) but it is ALWAYS, ALWAYS harder to deal with a difficult, stressful situation the way you have in a polite, turn the other cheek, even-keeled demeanor. The easy way out is to scream, shout call the other person a bad name and stomp like an ape. That is the evolutionary path of least resistance like the apes dancing to the obelisk in the opening scene of “2001 A Space Odyssey.” That is not being tough though, it is the easy way out.

The extremely hard path is to take a deep breath, smile and say a reasoned, tactful response in a polite way, try a faux British accent (there is a setting for that on my wife’s Garmin or think John Cleese answering Kevin Kline about Americans in “Fish Called Wanda”).

Having two little kids that push my buttons at least once a week helps one’s patience. In a way the state of mind of a small child is probably (sadly) not that different from a stressed driver in DC–I know I have been a stressed driver in DC sometimes as well.

Keep up the good work and remember the faux British accent.

[vvill]

I had a positive experience towards the end of a short, misty-foggy, night ride in my neighbourhood recently. I was iffy about approaching the driver after he pulled into his driveway*, but he had swerved left and right across the street several times and slowed down almost to a stop once or twice before actually stopping. All with no signalling at all. All I did was ask him to signal (as I was close to overtaking him when he finally pulled in and I had to brake suddenly) and his response was “Sorry I thought you were a car” (I had three front lights including 2 around 500 lumens each). I said that doesn’t matter, he still should’ve signalled, he agreed and apologized politely. Yay.

* the last time I did this the driver in question denied he ran a stop sign at a 4-way stop and politely insinuated that I leave immediately.

[Author]

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