How to be as tough as Crickey7

[NicDiesel]

@wheels&wings 128093 wrote:

Do people have any techniques so that the aggressive encounters don’t wreck the rest of the ride?

I find asking them about their day at the red light (during warmer weather) to get most of them to drop the aggro. Of course, I now live in the Land of Lutherans where everyone is passive aggressive so it’s pretty rare, but it does happen.

[Tania]

It’s VERY tempting to say or do something, I admit, but I try to stay in the “avoid or ignore” camp. I try to avoid anyone who has shown me aggression (such as not getting near them if we’re at a red light together after an incident) and otherwise ignoring them.

I do call them unprintable names under my breath.

[lordofthemark]

I can’t just ignore it, but also know anger is bad for me. I try to do things like raising my hands in a shrug, like “wow, you are sure are silly” shake my head, and the like. Usually this is in response to jerk moves not aggressive comments though.

[Crickey7]

It sounds kind of flip to respond by saying I turn around and point to the red blinking camera on my helmet and tell them they are being filmed. The thing is, it not only gets them to stop (as long as they can see it), it’s made me behave better. I’ve watched myself in a few videos where I was “right” and told drivers so (and a little more to boot), and I found I did not like watching how I handled it. Less is more.

[Tim Kelley]

Speaking genuinely, “Hey–I need your help! I’m trying to get home to my family and I need you to watch out for me”

Or not so genuinely: “Wow, your rear wheel looks really wobbly, like it’s almost ready to fall off. You probably should check that out before driving much further!”

[PotomacCyclist]

One problem with me is that loud car horns physically hurt my ears. I used to play guitar in a high school rock band. Definitely cranked up the amp a little too much on a couple occasions. I probably lost a little of the top end of my hearing (higher frequencies). While it’s not a major problem in most situations, loud noises cause pain. This includes the loud horns on Metro trains and even the release of the hydraulic brakes on the Metro trains. I usually cover my ears.

I haven’t been honked at by many drivers, but when it has happened, it has been unexpected, so I couldn’t cover my ears. On one occasion, I was just walking on a sidewalk. Some older woman honked to get my attention so she could ask directions! I would gladly provide directions to courteous people, and I did provide directions that day. But I was also upset because of the pain from the car horn. I said sternly that it was obnoxious to use a car horn like that, simply to get the attention of a nearby pedestrian in a non-emergency situation. She was driving at about 5 mph on a completely empty side street, so there was no reason why she couldn’t have just pulled over, rolled down her window and spoken.

I don’t usually get into many tricky situations on CaBi. The slower speeds and upright riding position help ward off potential close calls and tense situations before they have a chance to develop. I haven’t done many non-CaBi rides lately. Maybe only a couple short ones the entire year.

I did have a couple encounters with roided/hyper aggressive jerks a few years ago. In both instances, they were speeding up right behind me and laying on the horn. I turned around to look at one guy. I didn’t flip him off or even say anything, but he still flipped out. He started screaming F-bombs non-stop and threatening me, just because I dared to turn around and look at the car that was racing up on me from behind. (I could hear the engine noise very clearly.) Then he passed me on the side street and did a high-speed turn and raced off onto Rte. 1. This was maybe 2 or 3 years ago.

[DismalScientist]

I don’t get honked at all that often. I just ignore it. If they honk at you, they clearly see you, so the likelihood of a collision is low. If I am inappropriately obstructing traffic (and I don’t mean legitimately taking a lane), I’ll move over an let them pass. I don’t see why I would allow a honked horn to ruin my ride. If I was honked at while driving, I would ignore it as well and it wouldn’t ruin my drive.

[Vicegrip]

I am now old enough that I don’t care what most people think. Easy to say “I don’t care” but many who say it still do. I don’t. I care about what people do to me or mine and to a lesser extent others.

I laugh at them if what they are mad at is dumb. Sometimes I wave like I though they were saying “Hi”. If I want to simply mess with them I act like I just saw something bad on their car and point at it. Sow the seed of worry and ride away. If a drive by honking I chock it up as glad they are now in front of me and I am still upright and intact. If they make a crack I bust out my fave of moment “Hey now, nice tooth!” All in all I have had very little bad interaction with cars/drivers.

[Emm]

I do my best to channel my rage into sharing useful information when someone is about to kill me. So last night when a woman ran a red light to turn right and almost hit me in the crosswalk where I was crossing with the walk signal, I kindly let her know in a loud voice that “red lights means stop! It’s so you don’t hit the people in the crosswalk! You need to pay attention”, even though on the inside I was screaming “You f*cking b***ch you almost hit me I want to punch you and your car”. She clearly just had no idea that red lights mean stop! And by explaining why you should stop, I hopefully made her smarter . Had I shared the thoughts that were actually in my head, I doubt she would have a good impression of cyclists, or have learned that red lights require stopping.

I had a similar issue when I got a nasty comment from another cyclist in DC when I “ran a red”–which was really me beginning to bike across an intersection during the leading pedestrian interval. My “uh, it’s legal in DC and this is why” response worked well and the guy calmed down.

When someone is just being a d*ck, I tend to let it slide off. I focus on something that makes me happy. Like my rainbow spoke lights, hot tea, or the birds.

[ShawnoftheDread]

So I’m the only one who keeps eggs in his jersey pocket?

[Powerful Pete]

I explain my feelings in Italian. Makes me feel better. And I do it with a smile. Little does the driver know about my comments on his great-great-grandmother’s interactions with the opposite sex.

But outwardly I try to remain very calm. I try to ignore or politely wave.

[Tim Kelley]

@ShawnoftheDread 128117 wrote:

So I’m the only one who keeps eggs in his jersey pocket?

Only in the winter.

[Anonymous]

It’s not always (but surprisingly often is) possible because it requires the active participation of another human, but sharing an eyeroll, exasperated wtf shrug, or slow head shake with a third-party witness to the behavior usually helps reset my emotional response from ugly interaction with the guy who just almost killed/yelled at/was mean to me to a more pleasant interaction with this other, better guy who agrees with me that jerk guy was a jerk. Failing that, actively paying attention to all the other people who aren’t yelling at/being mean to/trying to kill me usually helps.

I generally ignore the actual jerk.

[dkel]

@ShawnoftheDread 128117 wrote:

So I’m the only one who keeps eggs in his jersey pocket?

I keep eggs in your jersey pocket in the hopes that you’ll sit on them.

[DrP]

I find that except for the rare egregious cases, just continuing on my ride calms me down (especially if an up-hill is coming since so much more work is needed or a down-hill for the “wheee” factor). In those rare cases, it depends on the circumstances. Shrugs, eye-rolls, etc. as per Amalitza work wonders. Muttering under my breath too. Also, composing what I might put in a “Missed Connection” post helps turn it around too.

[Author]

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