Calvinball 2019 Official Thread

[josh]

Welcome to Calvinball, where the rules are constantly made up and the points don’t matter!

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I am the new Tim the Enchanter, also known as Bruce the Sleepy — keeper of the scores and arbiter of the rules. I will begin the game by hiding the Calvinball and posting here.

Initial Rules:

Your quest is to seek thee the gameball, hidden secretly amongst the cycling trails inside the beltway (but not to be found in any federal park).

Seek the game ball. Maketh up a new ordinance for the game. Hide the sacred ball. Post your new ordinance along with guidance on how those who follow can seek the gameball. Thou shall find, hide and post within the same hours 24.

For finding the gameball, ye shall be awarded 5 points, less a point for each day that passeth before the gameball is once again uncovered.

Ye may find the gameball but once during each rotation of the Earth. Ye may possess the gameball but once every other turn.

If your new ordinance nets three likes, ye shall likewise be award points equaling five and your ordinance shall be implemented as law of the game, which all who play must loyally adhere.

This be not organized competition. This be Calvinball. New rules are obliged to follow the spirit of Saint Calvin and Saint Hobbes. New ordinances shall not thee be bills of attainder but must generally apply to all fools of venture into our midst. New ordinances cannot benefit the ordinance’s scribe uniquely. New ordinances should make the court jester smile upon thee, and shall not place any in existential peril.

If a new ordinance shall contravene an old ordinance, the ordinance with highest net likes shall be declared the law.

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Ordinances that matter:

• 3 points for pic of Calvinball balanced on head
• 2 points for on-site consumption
• 10 points for wearing the friendship bracelet to the closing happy hour (hunt me down to show me)

Ephemeral Ordinances and ones that don’t matter:

• Staying in DC
• Bringing it back to VA
• Freeing Hobbes
• Friendshipball is called the friendshipball
• Nepotismball’s band should be worn

Scores:
Spreadsheet

Prizes:
Those who play shall seek their reward as follows:
• Rosalyn Award :: The player with the ordinance that has acquired the most net likes at the time of the next find
• Miss Wormwood Award :: The player with the most implemented ordinances
• Spaceman Spiff Award :: Best Calvinball
• Calvin Award :: Tim’s Award of Mystery (oooooooooohhh)
• Hobbes Award :: The Hobbes Prize is to be awarded to the person whom played but scored the least amount of points.
• Susie Award :: Most swag points
• Lost Dog Rescue Award :: Best picture of your dog

Notes:
Consider Thee Calvinball a Hot-potatoe game – not a hide-and-seek game. This be not geocaching. More, we wish the Calvinball attain perpetual motion, constantly moving, from pilgrim to pilgrim. (Translation: don’t make your hides hard or your rules constraining. The more silliness the better)
This is not a winner take all game — “The points don’t matter”

Thanks to rcannon100 for moderating last year’s Calvinball game and providing a template for this thread.

Topic

[sszibler]

@SarahBee 188673 wrote:

Yes

STILL? 😮

[sszibler]

OR HAVE ALL THE ANIMALS TRANSMOGRIFIED (deserted)?

[sszibler]

@SarahBee 188673 wrote:

Yes

Got them! We made a quick escape on Lee Highway – but I think the wrong direction. So I ended up on another quick escape on Rt 50. Hobbes is punching me for scaring him to death, SH thinks he’s being silly.. No idea who’s holding giraffey captive!

[Fast Friendly Guy]

When I saw Giraffey’s Corolla box was gone, under the deck later the same day, I assumed Sarah had him

[SarahBee]

@Fast Friendly Guy 188841 wrote:

When I saw Giraffey’s Corolla box was gone, under the deck later the same day, I assumed Sarah had him

Corona box was empty and in the trash can nearby. I assumed Steve S has picked it up!

[sszibler]

@SarahBee 188842 wrote:

Corona box was empty and in the trash can nearby. I assumed Steve S has picked it up!

Wow! 😮 Maybe Girraffey is on the lam! The Great Escape!

[sszibler]

I made a daring rescue of Hobbes (Americana) and Siberian Hobbes at Contes in western Falls Church. We zipped down Rt. 7 (which I thought was 29 for some reason) and realizing my error and upcoming kid sitting and that I was already running a little late, took 50 the rest of the way.

At this point Hobbes started punching me through my back pack, but Siber Hobbes thought it was great and she called Hobbes the P word and they were going at it in my back pack.

It turned out that Gus got sick and was 🤮 so neither of them wanted to visit him anymore, BUT they were really curious as to what the Garden was that popped up in my neighborhood and made me stop to check it out. They were also annoyed that we didn’t get to visit all the young lawyers learning how to be trial attorneys at Kirkland & Ellis last week, so I thought it was only fair. They said it was very jungle-like and laughed at the “bouncer” (I told them to cut it the heck out before they got us in trouble!) who was taking up half of the shop. They made fun of me for not being very cool (apparently they’ve been keeping with some questionable company lately!) and asking twice about the “gifts” . . . I told them my brain was a little fried from Rt. 50 and I got it, I just didn’t want to say the wrong thing. Then they really wanted the free gift that they said they “needed” after Rt. 50. They said they were tired of all the whiskey and beer 🍺 they’d been forced to drink lately and wanted to be more “mellow” or something. I didn’t give in to their adventurousness this time, but they asked if I’d at least take a picture of them pretending to have enjoyed the “gift”. Such a silly couple of tigers!

They also really liked the blue Mercedes. They said, “Isn’t that the one you built a model of as a kid? The SL?” I said it was and we all laughed at how great the bumper sticker was and didn’t Camelot have 🐅? Then we cried a little. [ATTACH=CONFIG]19826[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]19827[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]19828[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]19829[/ATTACH]

[sszibler]

https://youtu.be/cd6lAu0m2do

[sszibler]

Shouldn’t be too hard to find these two. The staff is putting them to work fixing bikes. [ATTACH=CONFIG]19833[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]19834[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]19835[/ATTACH]

[LhasaCM]

Target acquired.

[LhasaCM]

I’m sorry, everyone – we’ve all been duped, but it’s really my fault as I should have “trusted, but verified.” Two months ago, I shared how Hobbes built a Transmogrifier to become a Siberian Tiger to cope with the cold weather. I should not have believed him, and I’m sorry for passing along bad information. Thank you to sszibler for hiding them in a convenient location (for us) so that the truth* can finally come out.

You see – when he got to our house, I asked Siber Hobbes if he wanted to transmogrify back to his original Hobbes form, now that it’s springtime. He said he had no idea what I was talking about, for he’s always been a Siberian Tiger. I showed him the Transmogrifier. He suggested I turn it around to look at the other side.

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Apparently, the Transmogrifier was not just a transmogrifying device. It was a Duplicator that also could transmogrify when duplicating. That’s how Hobbes set it up two months ago, creating another (but different) Hobbes to brave the dangers of the world while he lived in the lap of luxury hiding amongst the other animals in our house. (That also may explain why we’re out of tuna.)

Furious at the deception, and mad at myself for not seeing it, I set the tigers to work sorting M’s Legos while we think of an appropriate next step.

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*Or is it?

[LhasaCM]

Siber Hobbes went to school with M, while the other two came to work with me. I put Hobbes to work cleaning up and doing a few odd chores like changing toner cartridges.

Unlike other “take the tiger to work day” events, I don’t really have much more than that to share since, as much as I love my job and have worked here for almost 18 years, it’s too exhausting to make it sound exciting.

When I came back from a meeting, I thought I overheard the two of them talking about de-duplicating (not sure if it was about themselves or because they overheard me complaining about low storage on the network drive), and something about Owney (whatever that means).

[LhasaCM]

Ok – this is getting ridiculous. I came back from another meeting to find this little guy on my desk.

Hobbes recruited Owney from downstairs to take his place, since he doesn’t want to have to leave our home. But Owney isn’t too keen on the idea himself either, so it’s getting contentious. There’s going to be a LONG discussion tonight before FSLNHPP to figure out who stays and who goes, since they can’t all stay.

Ultimately, it’ll be M’s decision (like many other things), but SOMEONE(s?) is (are?) going to be taken to FSLNHPP tonight to be found.

[sszibler]

I saw some suspicious looking characters on 4 mile run last night, near one of the hiding places, so I glared at them just in case they had Girraffey and might feel some remorse!

[LhasaCM]

So the tigers and Owney deliberated after we all visited HP for a couple #kidical laps. Owney had a blast; the Hobbeses did not. M agreed with the tigers. Therefore, Owney will be joining me for FSLNHPP (see packaging below). Arrival in about 45 minutes or so, if all goes well.

[Author]

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