Calvinball 2019 Official Thread

[josh]

Welcome to Calvinball, where the rules are constantly made up and the points don’t matter!

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I am the new Tim the Enchanter, also known as Bruce the Sleepy — keeper of the scores and arbiter of the rules. I will begin the game by hiding the Calvinball and posting here.

Initial Rules:

Your quest is to seek thee the gameball, hidden secretly amongst the cycling trails inside the beltway (but not to be found in any federal park).

Seek the game ball. Maketh up a new ordinance for the game. Hide the sacred ball. Post your new ordinance along with guidance on how those who follow can seek the gameball. Thou shall find, hide and post within the same hours 24.

For finding the gameball, ye shall be awarded 5 points, less a point for each day that passeth before the gameball is once again uncovered.

Ye may find the gameball but once during each rotation of the Earth. Ye may possess the gameball but once every other turn.

If your new ordinance nets three likes, ye shall likewise be award points equaling five and your ordinance shall be implemented as law of the game, which all who play must loyally adhere.

This be not organized competition. This be Calvinball. New rules are obliged to follow the spirit of Saint Calvin and Saint Hobbes. New ordinances shall not thee be bills of attainder but must generally apply to all fools of venture into our midst. New ordinances cannot benefit the ordinance’s scribe uniquely. New ordinances should make the court jester smile upon thee, and shall not place any in existential peril.

If a new ordinance shall contravene an old ordinance, the ordinance with highest net likes shall be declared the law.

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Ordinances that matter:

• 3 points for pic of Calvinball balanced on head
• 2 points for on-site consumption
• 10 points for wearing the friendship bracelet to the closing happy hour (hunt me down to show me)

Ephemeral Ordinances and ones that don’t matter:

• Staying in DC
• Bringing it back to VA
• Freeing Hobbes
• Friendshipball is called the friendshipball
• Nepotismball’s band should be worn

Scores:
Spreadsheet

Prizes:
Those who play shall seek their reward as follows:
• Rosalyn Award :: The player with the ordinance that has acquired the most net likes at the time of the next find
• Miss Wormwood Award :: The player with the most implemented ordinances
• Spaceman Spiff Award :: Best Calvinball
• Calvin Award :: Tim’s Award of Mystery (oooooooooohhh)
• Hobbes Award :: The Hobbes Prize is to be awarded to the person whom played but scored the least amount of points.
• Susie Award :: Most swag points
• Lost Dog Rescue Award :: Best picture of your dog

Notes:
Consider Thee Calvinball a Hot-potatoe game – not a hide-and-seek game. This be not geocaching. More, we wish the Calvinball attain perpetual motion, constantly moving, from pilgrim to pilgrim. (Translation: don’t make your hides hard or your rules constraining. The more silliness the better)
This is not a winner take all game — “The points don’t matter”

Thanks to rcannon100 for moderating last year’s Calvinball game and providing a template for this thread.

Topic

[Steve O]

On a cold and rainy night, I ventured out to get Jeraf Phee.

He was still under the grate
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The requisite head balance:
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Lots of stuff
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[CBGanimal]

@Steve O 188121 wrote:

On a cold and rainy night, I ventured out to get Jeraf Phee.

He was still under the grate
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The requisite head balance:
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So happy he’s in for the night…and don’t forget to write in the notepad journal!

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Steve O]

For the last few days it seems that Jeraf has been pretty much freeloading. Worse, even, he seems to have been distracting others from actually getting any work done.
So in order to make sure he’s pulling his weight, I had him do a few chores.
First, the bikes.
Clean the chains:
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It’s been raining, so it’s a good idea to condition the leather saddle:
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And make sure all the tires are pumped up:
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[Steve O]

Now for some stuff around the house that needs to get done:

Vacuuming
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Taking out the trash
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And folding the laundry, which took him an aggravatingly long time.
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[Steve O]

By now I was pretty tired of his whining about all this work he had to do, so I told him to stop it, pour me a beer…
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And massage my feet
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[CBGanimal]

@Steve O 188125 wrote:

And massage my feet
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Oh noooo not the feet!!!

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[ChristoB50]

@CBGanimal 188127 wrote:

Oh noooo not the feet!!!

Oh, Giraffey! In the words of Don McLean, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you!

[LhasaCM]

Hopefully Giraffey gets a nice long bath after all that hard work…

Sent from my ONEPLUS A5000 using Tapatalk

[SarahBee]

Calvinball has been replanted. Siberhobbes and Hobbesy are hanging out with one of their favorite BAFS team captains at a Falls Church establishment. Make sure to check out their new argyle line of swag. This is the place to come for great Saturday morning rides!

[Steve O]

Jeraf Phee is in this bag in this corner

In this shop owned by a college buddy of drevil

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[SarahBee]

@Steve O 188172 wrote:

Jeraf Phee is in this bag in this corner

In this shop owned by a college buddy of drevil

Sent from my SM-J737T using Tapatalk

Ice cream in this weather????

[ChristoB50]

@SarahBee 188221 wrote:

Ice cream in this weather????

My life experience has suggested there is never a bad season for ice cream!

[sszibler]

@SarahBee 188147 wrote:

Calvinball has been replanted. Siberhobbes and Hobbesy are hanging out with one of their favorite BAFS team captains at a Falls Church establishment. Make sure to check out their new argyle line of swag. This is the place to come for great Saturday morning rides!

Rats. [ATTACH=CONFIG]19715[/ATTACH]

[Steve O]

Well, Geraf Phee has had enough time lounging around a coffee/ice cream shop. Time to put him back to work.

I nabbed him on my way in today.
He joined me in my office:
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To get started, I had him go get my coffee and then feed me my morning donut.
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Time to crank out some spreadsheets
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[Steve O]

Next, I had him take out the trash
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I told him to go add some printer paper in the printer

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After about 10 minutes, when he didn’t come back, I went to check on him. I guess giraffes are just incompetent or something. I had to frickin rescue him from this mishap.
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[Author]

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