!! C a l v i n b a l l !!

[josh]

Penrose Calvinball has been collected.

[chibiaerin]

Ball of Destiny has been acquired[ATTACH=CONFIG]17527[/ATTACH]

[streetsmarts]

@chibiaerin 176295 wrote:

Ball of Destiny has been acquired[ATTACH=CONFIG]17527[/ATTACH]

Was that the one in DC in the park under the bushes? So many balls to keep track of…

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

[rcannon100]

@streetsmarts 176313 wrote:

Was that the one in DC in the park under the bushes? So many balls to keep track of…

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

No, Ball of Destiny was in the Northern Realm. The Calvinball under the bushes has yet to be divined.

[streetsmarts]

@rcannon100 176314 wrote:

No, Ball of Destiny was in the Northern Realm. The Calvinball under the bushes has yet to be divined.

Found the Nivlacball in said bushes

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[chibiaerin]

Attention Ye Freezers
The Ball of Destiny has returned to play!

Found datum 14. March 2018 south of College Park Academy
The Brethren of Colonel Sprocket, Destroyer of Worlds, Emperor of Chairs, Occupier of Laps leered upon the Ball of Destiny as it was relinquished from its pond domicile…
[ATTACH=CONFIG]17547[/ATTACH]

Ready for Doughneurs, I have attached thematically appropriate swag:
[ATTACH=CONFIG]17548[/ATTACH]

And now, the haiku:
West Basilica
Through a grove of cherry trees
Destiny awaits
[ATTACH=CONFIG]17549[/ATTACH]
[ATTACH=CONFIG]17550[/ATTACH]

And lastly, the limerick:
Ready for the horde hunting doughnuts
Two cyclists stashed sockgame with some guts
Perhaps a Doughneur
or wise Coffeeneur
Will dig through the ivy somewhat

[streetsmarts]

@rcannon100 170134 wrote:

Hints
* Hints must be given in the form of a hiaku (with additional elements, i.e. photos, allowed).
* In lieu of haiku, one may composeth a limerick. Shalt a proper limerick be promulgated, player shalt be awarded 7 points.

Field of Play
* NPS is out of bounds
* We shall be allowed to play thy game outside said beltway
* new Calvinballs must be put into play at least 1 mile from the previous one.
* Taking the Calvinball across state lines is worth 10 points. Going between MoCo — PG, Arlington — Alexandria, or from one quadrant of DC to another is worth 3 points.

Calvinballs
* If you replace the gameball with a new Calvinball – if your new gameball nets 4 likes – you get 10 points. A new gameball becomes the gameball immediately upon placement. Create a new post showing the new gameball so that it can potentially net four likes.
* If you post a picture of the calvinball with a doggo or pupper you get 10 bonus points because they’re good dogs
** If you post a picture of an exceptionally clean puppy (your dog in bath with calvinball in shot), Tim may award a bonus of your pupper-related points (or your total points if so moved Tim shalt be) by cubing (x3) same.
** Transfiguration: All cats are also dogs.
* If thou retrieveth this Nivlacball and are unable to solve it ere a reasonable period of time (2-3 hours), then thou may not replaceth it, but must passeth it along to the next player who is then also bound by this ordinance. This ordinance shall also apply at any time this or any other puzzle box is introduced or re-introduced into Calvinball. Failure to abideth by this ordinance shall result in one week of play during which thou may earn no points (thou may play, but shan’t get points).
* 10 points for locating the Calvinball at night, cuz that’s when the freaks come out

Swag
* If ye include cool swag with a Calvinball, ye shall receive 5 points
* If your swag is Tim’s mortal enemy, a chocolate bunny, you get 5 additional points
* If swag is consumed on premise, 10 points shall be awarded.
** If Calvinball ist found in or neare an establishment of foode or drinke, one may consume said proprietor’s goods (photo documented) and be awarded thy same pointes as consumeth of swag. No duple dipping, however. Awardeth of 10 points shall be the maximum for swag/locality consumption.
* If ye share your swagge with a straynger, ye shall be awarded 20 points.

Spells
* The Spell of Warlock Judd: Upon the capture of any Calvinball, you may cast the Spell of the Warlock Judd once. While the Calvinball be in your possession, ye may picketh any other Freezer and reduce that Freezer’s Calvinball score by 3 points for every cycle around the Judd’s Hamster Wheel of Misery you bike (as shown in Strava, one ride on one day).
** Lycra Amendment: if you do hamster laps with panniers and a commuter bike…while getting funny looks from speedy Lycra racers you should get triple points! Visual evidence must be rendered.
* The Prior Incantato Spell: Scraped from the floor of Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, Prior Incanto is a reverse spell to be used on the Malevolent who whine about the score. Freezers may use this spell against the Malevolent who whine that the Freezer has been unfairly or improperly awarded points. If the spell is cast, the points which the malevolent whined about shall be deducted from the Malevolent‘s score and awarded to the casting Freezer’s score. Likewise if the Malevolent whines that the Malevolent was unfairly deprived of points, any Freezer may cast the spell and those points shall likewise be deducted from the Malevolent and awarded to the casting Freezer.
* This is a new spell, Wingardium Leviosa. The way it works is that each time you’re hit with the curse of Judd, you can invoke it on one ride (to be started and finished within two days of the cursing), and every 200 feet one climbs gains one bonus point, and this is capped at 2 times the damage you’re hit with. E.g., CBGanimal will be taking a 15 point hit from my curse, and if she casts Wingardium Leviosa and does a ride with 1183 feet of elevation gain in the next two days, she will receive 5 points. The bonus would max out if she climbed 6000 feet in one ride (15 * 2 * 200), and would result in the damage being nullified (plus a bonus equal to the original damage).
* The Corleone Spell: If a Calvinball is found by a novice (someone who has not found a Calvinball before), the hider may cast the Corleono Spell and get a piece of the action, earning 20% of the Novice’s total initial score (Novice keeps full score; hider gets a 20% commission).
* The curse of Mr. Creosote: If someone finds or is in possession of more than one ball in the same day or at the same time, all points gained from all finds associated are applied negatively.

Important Stuff
* Everyone is to bring Tim the Enchanter cookies

Scoreboard
* new players who hath ne’er captured a calvinball are hereby awarded 15 bonus points upon thy first capture.
* Tim may arbitrarily and capriciously award up to three enchanted points
* Because Calvinball is in part medieval, the score shall – if its possible – be kept on the linked spread sheet

SCORECARD (no promise this is complete)
10 Points for Find minus 2 points for every day that passes until the next find
15 Points First Find
10 points for locating the Calvinball at night
5 Points New Ordinance that gets 3 likes
10 Points New Calvinball that gets 4 likes
7 Points Limerick
10 Points Pic of Beast (3x pic your dog getting bath with calvinball)
5 Points Swag
5 More Points if Swag is Chocolate Bunnies
20 Points share swagge with a straynger
10 Points Consume Swag on Site
10/3 Points Cross Frontier of Realm/Province
3 Enchanted Points for those who are worthy

Pilgrim :: Total Score
Just remember, the points dont matter

Cheater 5 :: 4503 Points
Cheater 3 :: 2113 Points
Cheater 4 :: 1353 Points
Cheater 1 :: G Points
Josh :: 283 points
SteveO :: 244 points
CBGanimal :: 207 points
Mstansill :: 133 Points
Streetsmarts :: 128 points
Vicegrip :: 124 points
Huberww :: 106 points
SCHVIN :: 102 Points
Reji :: 114 points
Judd :: 74 points
Stryke :: 73 Points
PeteD :: 64 Points
SClaeys :: 64 Points
BENTBIKE :: 115 points
EMM :: 61
Sunyata :: 61 points
KarenW :: 52
NemaVeze :: 43 Points
Birru :: 43
Jon Levine :: 39
SarahBee :: 38 Points
FXBOOKS :: 23 points
TDean :: 18 points
rcannon100 :: 15 points
megoc42 :: 10 points
Chuxtr :: 30 points
PeteD :: – 107

Omg the cheaters are here too… like a virus!

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

[josh]

Under Watts Branch Bridge
Riverwalk Trail along the
Anacostia

[ATTACH=CONFIG]17577[/ATTACH]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]17578[/ATTACH]

[streetsmarts]

On 15th while going uphill
You’ll see a bench to sit still
It’s in Arling-ton
Behind the thing to sit on
The Nivlacball will give you a thrill

(near 15th and Scott)

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

[Mtansill]

@josh 176407 wrote:

Under Watts Branch Bridge
Riverwalk Trail along the
Anacostia

If only I didn’t have to work 12 hour shifts yesterday and today!

[rcannon100]

The story of the quest for the Calvinball shall the good cyclist teach their dependents;
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be rememberèd—
We few, we happy few, we band of Freezers;
For cyclists to-day that freeze their saddles with me
Shall be my brother, my sister; be thee ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle their condition;
And cyclists in #bikedc now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they did not freeze,
And hold their Rule 9 cheap whiles any speaks
That sought the Calvinball with us upon Freezings Saddles 2018.

And the winners of Calvinball are*

*(Sorry, I ran outta time – this isn’t 100% complete)

Best Calvinball :: Vicegrip for his infernal contraption
2nd Best Calvinball :: Vicegrip for the hunk of metal he bestowed on REJI
3rd Best Calvinball :: Whatever Vicegrip makes next…..
Most points in a single turn :: Vicegrip

Best Wizard :: Josh for casting the most spells
For Finding Calvinballs even before they are hidden :: Josh
Most New Ordinances :: Tie :: CGBanimal and SteveO
Ordinance with the most likes :: NemaVeze
Best Ordinance :: NemaVeze for Pupper ordinance
For attempting to pass an Ordinance that Declared that “no one has time for Fairfax or Loudon” :: NemaVeze
For being my favorite by declaring that everyone should bring me cookies :: CBGanimal
For hiding cookies near my secret lair :: CBGanimal
Best Swag :: Bunny Poops :: Jon Levine
Best Sharer of Swag :: Josh
Most Swag Given :: Tied :: Josh, CBGanimal, and SteveO
Best Swag :: (Ralpha bag thing with Team Sky on it) :: CBGanimal
Lowest score :: PeteD

Best treachery :: SarahBee
Most difficult find :: Huber WW (Calvinball was taped to his office door)
Greatest Courage for Daring to Eat Swag Brownies Made by a cycling musician :: PeteD
Greatest Valor for finding a Calvinball, eating all the swag, leaving the Calvinball in his car, and not bothering to tell anyone :: Schvin
Greatest Act of Heresy, Finding a Calvinball Hidden at a Weird Cycling Cult :: Schvin
Best Creation of Havoc in the Northern Realm :: Mtansill
Best Score Delusions :: Streetsmarts
Best maintenance of Orthodox World View in Face of Modernist Heresy :: Judd
Best Phoenixball :: Birru
Biggest Nerd :: PeteD
Best Drawing of Calvin on a Bicycle :: CBGanimal
Best Holy Handgrenade of Antioch Joke :: SJCLAEYS
Best DHS Employee Hiding Strange Tupperware Under Critical Infrastructure :: CBGAnimal

For getting rid of the Dancing Ordinance :: Josh
Best Jonathan Edwards Reference :: Josh
Earliest Morning Find :: Josh
Best Sojourner to Frontiers of Realms :: Josh

Best Slacker :: Steve O
Best Puzzleballs :: SteveO
For a gigantic blue, um…. Ball :: SteveO

Best Dance :: Charlotte
Worst Dance :: Steve Claeys
Worster Dance :: Judd
Best Song :: BentBike
Gnos Tseb :: BentBike
Best Dance with Pete Beers :: StreetSmarts
Best Dance next to a govt office without getting arrested :: KarenW and CBGAnimal

Best Cookies :: REJI
For causing Calvinballs to Multiply :: REJI
For lugging Vicegrips First Calvinball home :: REJI
For having her bike run over by a cement truck :: REJI
For talking to the police officer blocking the cross walk who was investigating the truck that was blocking the cross walk that ran over REJI’s bike :: CBGanimal
Worst Tease :: REJI (Announcing that there was a Wegmans in Falls Church)
For Being Tall Enough to Reach the Calvinball Under a Bridge :: REJI
For putting up with REJI :: FXBOOKS

AA AWARDS
Person who caused us to drink hard liquor early in the morning :: REJI
For Drinking Makers Mark First Thing in the Morning :: CBGanimal
Award for hiding hard liquor and chocolate closest to a children’s playground :: Karen W

Best Puppers
Pupper about to eat the Calvinball :: Nemaveze
Most Pupper Points without actually playing :: Chuxtr
For torturing a cat with a cowboy mouse calvinball :: REJI
Best Dog Picture :: CBGanimal
Best Dog :: Maggie
Best Extended Family :: Streetsmarts
Best New Potential Adopter of a Rescue Puppy :: FXBOOKS
Best actual adopter of a Puppy :: ShawnDread
Cleanest Dog :: HuberWW
For causing all cats to be Transfigured into dogs :: BentBike
For getting both puppers to look in the same direction at the same time :: Sunyata
Best Shop Pupper :: Stryke
Strangest looking dog :: Mtansill
Best “Those Don’t Look Like Dogs” :: PeteD
Best Walking-Up-To-Strange-Dog-And-Asking-For-A-Picture :: CGBanimal

[ATTACH=CONFIG]17631[/ATTACH]

Best Castle of the Southern Realm :: Phoenix Bike Shop
Best Castle of the Northern Realm :: Proteus Bike Shop

Okay, I am working on a conspiracy for grand prizes. More to follow.

Sorry if I left anyone out. I really ran out of time.

All right, sonny. That’s enough. Just pack that in. WSGFABR.

[video=youtube_share;qRxwBb7ev1Y]https://youtu.be/qRxwBb7ev1Y[/video]

[Vicegrip]

You forgot one.

Best FS silly game. rcannon 100 for Calvin ball.

Thanks for the laughs!

[streetsmarts]

yes, it’s been hilarious.
And I’ve only read like half of the posts!

[kwarkentien]

@Vicegrip 176538 wrote:

You forgot one.

Best FS silly game. rcannon 100 for Calvin ball.

Thanks for the laughs!

I second that emotion. It’s been fun to follow as well as to play. We should continue in the offseason just for fun!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Sunyata]

@kwarkentien 176679 wrote:

I second that emotion. It’s been fun to follow as well as to play. We should continue in the offseason just for fun!

I agree with this statement!

[Author]

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