I carry a Holy Hand Grenade in my underseat bag.
As for the ducks, there was a calmer group at the White House the other day, although the mother seems to have taken a route that was a little too tough for the ducklings to handle. Secret Service agents had to help out:
http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Family-of-Ducks-Visits-White-House-143726946.html
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