Apologies to my Teammates

[rcannon100]

There is a bit less than one week till we find out who our beloved team members are. And yet, already we have seen a few honorable souls jump the gun and declare apologies for their failings.

I believe this deserves a thread of its own. Sort of like Catholic confession, or an AA meeting. You dont know who is on your team ~ but you know one thing ~ you have already let them down miserably.

This thread is dedicated to your apologies.

Allow me to get things along.

Forgive me teammates, for I have sinned. It has been a couple of hours since my last sleaze ride. Grant me the serenity To accept the teammates I cannot change, Courage to comply with Rule #9, and wisdom to know the difference between a balakava and baklava. Quando omni flunkus moritati. I’m a cyclist, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.

First, I want to apologize for my new bike light. That’s not really a problem. I got it in my stocking. Santa Claus must have gotten my Instant Message. It’s about 3000 lumens and any Ninja is gonna get lazer beamed out of the way.

Second, I want to apologize for March 2nd. On March 2nd it will occur to me what a massively moronic endeavor this is – I will leave my bike at home, while riding the subway, which happens to be running on time and isnt packed like a sardine can – while listening to Wait Wait Dont Tell Me podcasts.

Finally, I want to apologize for Maryland. I wasnt born there but I grew up there. I was given my first car at age 15, six months before I could drive. It was a V8 Chevy Nova. Engine was so powerful it could pull small buildings. It drank gas so fast it was individually responsible for the gas shortage of the 1970s. In one of those chaos theories of how history is created, it was my massively horrific driving as a teenager down River Road that set the seed for what is today Maryland’s miserable driving culture. For this, I apologize.

Now, please, its your turn. Please tell us how you will fail your yet-unknown-to-you team in the coming months.

Topic

[Arlingtonrider]

OK, I’m amending this post to offer a prize for the best confession/apology on this thread during the course of the competition. One sentence limit. Must relate to the game. The two posts below both qualify. (We are still all winners just by being out riding.)

[Mikey]

I’m sorry there’s only one of me.

[TwoWheelsDC]

Apologies to my teammates, but when school starts back up in two weeks and I don’t have a regular AM/PM office commute, sleeping-in in my warm bed and sitting on my warm couch with my warm dog will take precedence over racking up cold BAFS points.

[Raymo853]

To mine, I had high hopes to sleaze ride Fri and Sat, but am as ill as he-double toothpicks.

[Anonymous]

I apologize deeply to my slacker teammates for the dismal slacking I have done so far this year, by riding my bicycle both on January 1 and on January 2. I will endeavor (er, not endeavor?) to do better (um, worse?) today.

[vern]

I apologize for apologizing. I will try to be more of a cad for the remainder of FS2015.

[LeslyJ]

Apologies to my future teammates, but my goal is to be queen of the sleaze ride!

[KayakCyndi]

@LeslyJ 103434 wrote:

Apologies to my future teammates, but my goal is to be queen of the sleaze ride!

Good luck. I do believe that title is hotly contested!

[Bruno Moore]

I apologize now for all the awful puns, bad jokes, and occasional worse Latin that go into my ride titles. The amount of groaning and lamentation will be prodigious—or will be if I’m doing things correctly.

[kwarkentien]

@KayakCyndi 103438 wrote:

Good luck. I do believe that title is hotly contested!

As the reigning “Queen of Sleaze, BAFS 2014,” I can confirm that the title will indeed be hotly contested. 😎

[PotomacCyclist]

I apologize for not signing up for BAFS, although I did ride outside on Thursday.

[dplasters]

Apologies not accepted.

:p

[DismalScientist]

I must apologize to my future teammates, for I plan to take a dive in 2015. This way I can get my handicap down so as to completely dominate FS2016.:rolleyes:

[DCAKen]

I apologize to my teammates for putting on another layer on sunscreen as I recline poolside on my February Caribbean cruise while you put on another layer of clothes as you shiver through another February polar vortex.

[Bruno Moore]

@DCAKen 103617 wrote:

I apologize to my teammates for putting on another layer on sunscreen as I recline poolside on my February Caribbean cruise while you put on another layer of clothes as you shiver through another February polar vortex.

If there is a velodrome (or somewhere to ride) on that boat, I want to see the Strava track. Going in circles on a moving ship in the middle of the ocean would be cool.

Otherwise, we’ll just take solace in the fact that, snotcicles notwithstanding, we get to ride and you don’t.

[Author]

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