Funny story, thank goodness he wasn’t behind the wheel

This topic has 21 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 2 months ago by thucydides.

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May 17, 2012 at 10:27 am #911364

Brendan von Buckingham
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So I’m riding home my normal commute in yesterday’s wonderful evening. Just got on Independence towards Lincoln, taking the right lane of the 3 westbound lanes. Long and flat enjoying a 20-25 mph spin to get the blood flowing. Cars actually obeying the 30 mph speed limit, changing lanes around me safely. Tourist families on the sidewalk making the final slog of the day to just one more landmark, with joggers and bikes picking their way through.

Then about 200 feet ahead in the dirt path worn by runners I notice a runner coming at me fast. Looks like he’s making that final kick and heading for a personal best. His arms are above his head. He must have just won the 10,000 meters in London. Good for him! At 100 feet, no wait, those are two middle fingers. He’s not saying woo hoo, he’s screaming f*** you loud enough that they really could hear him in London. Before I could wonder who his lucky friend was, at 50 feet he veers into the gutter of the road heading right for me, screaming at me, “Get out of the road! What are you thinking!” Me? I should get out of the road? And just like that he was past me in the other direction, he never broke stride and I didn’t slacken my cadence. Like the Letters to the Editor page you flip past when you’re looking for the good stuff, he was gone.

My curiosity wasn’t gone though. So I pulled over, hopped over to the sidewalk and doubled back to catch up with him. I caught up quick since he had returned to runners’ comfort zone of head phones and an easy pace. I passed him to see if he’d recognize me, built some distance, and pulled over in front of the tholos memorializing Washington’s World War I soldiers. This is where the tone of the story changes.

As he passed he noticed me as much as a tree, so I hailed him. “Excuse me, what the f*** is wrong with you?” With earbud midway out, recognition registered in his eyes, and a long hard day, or year came pouring out at full volume, “You can’t be in the road like that. Don’t you see the cars. You have to follow the regulations. I’m a lawyer.”

“A lawyer? well hang on, let me get out my regulations. Do you want to double check them?”, I asked. He probably couldn’t hear me over his yelling, but he understood when I held up the typed up pages I always carry with me.

“F*** the regulations. It’s about common sense. Don’t you know the speed limit on that road?”

“Do you know the speed limit on that road?”

“I don’t care what the speed limit is…”–“It’s 30 by the way,” I slipped under his by now full-throttle rant–“…don’t you see the cars.”

“Yes, they were all changing lanes and passing nicely.”

“You’re the 1%! You’re the 1%!!” and something about Vince Foster. I’m not sure. His words were machine gunning out, shredding any kind of coherent conversation.

I finally got my shot during a pause for him to gasp a breath, “What happened to you that you’re so damaged?” The earbuds popped back in and away he ran.

Starting with a long head-shake and a perplexed smile, I got on my way too. Traffic was still light and calm and I built back to my cadence on Independence. It didn’t take long to find a spot for him in my mental catalog of bizarre encounters with people who just can’t compute how cars and bikes can co-exist. Nothing new really, except for the runner part. Never had that happen before. Thank God he wasn’t behind me, behind the wheel with that mental shakiness. The truth is, he’s probably behind me every day.
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May 17, 2012 at 12:53 pm #940739

pfunkallstar
Participant

Ramming Speed! One bad lawyer spoils the bunch. Seriously though, sometimes it isn’t worth the effort. Give em a double gun next time and send him on his angry way.

May 17, 2012 at 1:10 pm #940744

GuyContinental
Participant

I may have encountered this guy (or more likely his brother given the distance) yesterday as well- EB WO&D right after Maple, I passed a ped gaggle that was owning the right side of the trail. Runner hugging the middle of the WB side (earbuds in of course) not only doesn’t yield but scrunches up his face, mouths f*you, gives me a double finger and actually makes himself wider by throwing out his arms while stepping more into the center of the trail. Trail was otherwise clear (and as wide as the WO&D gets) and I wasn’t riding at all aggressively.

I thought about turning around and eating one of his earbuds… That might make an impression.

May 17, 2012 at 1:15 pm #940745

rcannon100
Participant

Get a bike vid camera on you handle bar. Film it. Post it YouTube as official dork of the day.

May 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm #940748

Brendan von Buckingham
Participant

This sort of engagement happens to me maybe 5 times a year. Words are exchanged–usually quickly and full of adrenaline–then we catch up with each other. It’s either the next light, or I’ve turned around to catch up with someone. Most times, heat ramps down to an actual conversation: why’d you say that, why’d you do that, well because I was trying to do this, I didn’t know, now I understand. Most times it’s positive. Lots of times there are apologies and courtesies at the end. Once I even got a pledge from a driver to do better next time.

This one yesterday though went straight to Crazy Town.

May 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm #940749

jrenaut
Participant

@rcannon100 19812 wrote:

Get a bike vid camera on you handle bar. Film it. Post it YouTube as official dork of the day.

Not if he’s a lawyer. He’ll have the FBI after you for wiretapping when you “make an unauthorized recording”.

May 17, 2012 at 2:00 pm #940755

baiskeli
Participant

@jrenaut 19816 wrote:

Not if he’s a lawyer. He’ll have the FBI after you for wiretapping when you “make an unauthorized recording”.

Would be funny to see a lawyer saying “F*** the regulations!” though.

May 17, 2012 at 2:07 pm #940757

vvill
Participant

W-o-w, nice story.

I usually don’t bother engaging anyone anymore.

May 17, 2012 at 3:15 pm #940769

creadinger
Participant

@GuyContinental 19811 wrote:

I may have encountered this guy (or more likely his brother given the distance) yesterday as well- EB WO&D right after Maple, I passed a ped gaggle that was owning the right side of the trail. Runner hugging the middle of the WB side (earbuds in of course) not only doesn’t yield but scrunches up his face, mouths f*you, gives me a double finger and actually makes himself wider by throwing out his arms while stepping more into the center of the trail. Trail was otherwise clear (and as wide as the WO&D gets) and I wasn’t riding at all aggressively.

I wonder if I’m WAY oblivious, or I have an extremely short memory related to cycling and hostile peds because I just do not notice these types of things when I’m on the trails. Sheesh. It’s really depressing seeing all the hate and people consciously choosing to be dicks to other people. I try not to ride the trails on weekends anymore which limits where I can go unfortunately. Do people get a sense that the general hostility is boiling up more than usual because of increaseing crowds or that it’s always there at a constant level? With more and more and more people using the trails it would make sense that it’s increasing. It’s kinda sad how crowded trails should be considered a good thing, but I really don’t see it that way. Not with the way people are (and I mean all users).

May 17, 2012 at 4:30 pm #940786

paulg
Participant

@GuyContinental 19811 wrote:

I may have encountered this guy (or more likely his brother given the distance) yesterday as well- EB WO&D right after Maple, I passed a ped gaggle that was owning the right side of the trail. Runner hugging the middle of the WB side (earbuds in of course) not only doesn’t yield but scrunches up his face, mouths f*you, gives me a double finger and actually makes himself wider by throwing out his arms while stepping more into the center of the trail. Trail was otherwise clear (and as wide as the WO&D gets) and I wasn’t riding at all aggressively.

I thought about turning around and eating one of his earbuds… That might make an impression.

I may be reading this wrong and please forgive me if I am but it appears that to pass the pedestrians you moved to the left side of the trail which was being occupied by the runner coming toward you. It also seems that you expected him to yield to you even though you were on his side of the trail. I’m sorry to have to say this, but in that situation (again if I’m reading it correctly) I wait for the trail to be completely clear on the left side before I make the pass. Why should someone yield (biker or runner or whatever) when someone coming at them has decided to make a pass and is now on their side of the trail. They shouldn’t have to in my opinion. I don’t condone the finger gestures etc. but I can see the runners point.

May 17, 2012 at 6:53 pm #940806

GuyContinental
Participant

@paulg 19858 wrote:

I may be reading this wrong and please forgive me if I am but it appears that to pass the pedestrians you moved to the left side of the trail which was being occupied by the runner coming toward you. It also seems that you expected him to yield to you even though you were on his side of the trail. I’m sorry to have to say this, but in that situation (again if I’m reading it correctly) I wait for the trail to be completely clear on the left side before I make the pass. Why should someone yield (biker or runner or whatever) when someone coming at them has decided to make a pass and is now on their side of the trail. They shouldn’t have to in my opinion. I don’t condone the finger gestures etc. but I can see the runners point.

On the center (no line there) with a clear trail and originally a clean passing space- he deliberately stepped/puffed up into me, closing the distance to the center of the trail CREATING the hazardous situation.

May 17, 2012 at 8:08 pm #940815

KLizotte
Participant

Brendan’s encounter was obviously with someone more than a little mentally unstable. Be thankful it didn’t turn out worse.

Fortunately my encounters with rude/hostile people are far and few between. When they do occur, I calm down by reminding myself of all the times drivers, peds, cyclists have gone out of their way to accomodate me on the road, trail, sidewalk, etc. The rude folks are the 1%.

May 18, 2012 at 1:39 am #940844

MCL1981
Participant

I love watching mentally unstable lunatics have whack attacks like that. I would have absolutely pulled out my phone and video taped this encounter for YouTube.

May 18, 2012 at 3:21 am #940847

vvill
Participant

Had a slight incident on my home up Westmoreland today. There was a runner on the street salmoning (even though I’m pretty sure there is a sidewalk?). My somewhat urban-cycling commuter brain saw her, noted her presence, and continued cycling towards her and taking into other sensory input that is important to me, whilst planning to move out of her way more into the road (and into traffic – this is a one lane road each way) when the time was necessary. At this point she moved further into the middle of the road too, I guess assuming I was just going to plough into her. It’s not much different to when you are walking towards someone in the opposite direction and you both move to avoid the other. Instead she gets indignant and shouts something about “watching where you’re going”. Maybe if you want to run with headphones in you could run on the sidewalk.

Still, it was nothing compared to von Buckingham’s story. Nor my morning incidents. Really not a great commuting day. Pretty sure most drivers don’t give a hell about Bike to Work Day/Week/Bike Month.

May 18, 2012 at 5:14 pm #940912

brendan
Participant

There are runners in the bike lane in front of my apartment most evenings, running both ways (correct direction and salmoning). This is on Wilson Blvd, across the street from Whole Foods. I can’t blame them too much, though, as the crowd in front of Boccato Gelato is thick with kids and dogs for hours, esp. in good weather and virtually impassible at a standard walking pace.

Though, they may want to consider rerouting around the block since it’s a known hazardous area…I’ve been known to sneak out the back of the building through the bar’s basement door to the parking lot if I’m carrying something heavy or bulky to my car in the evening.

Brendan

May 21, 2012 at 4:31 pm #941041

txgoonie
Participant

@vvill 19924 wrote:

There was a runner on the street salmoning (even though I’m pretty sure there is a sidewalk?).

Isn’t the runner actually in the correct spot, i.e. running against traffic? Salmoning is really a term reserved for bikes going the wrong direction, no? I’m not saying that moving into the road was the correct thing for her to do, but at least she put herself in the right position to be able to see what was going on.
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